Falling Walls
by Elizaellen
Summary: This story is part of the episode, A House Divided. It is a look inside their thoughts as well as including missing scenes with an expanded ending.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman. The rights to those characters and to the show belong to the creators of the show, to CBS, The Sullivan Company and to A&E.

**Falling Walls**

**Part 1: Point of View**

_This story is part of the episode, A House Divided. It is a look inside their thoughts as well as including missing scenes with an expanded ending. I make reference to a few things that happened in Virginia City which can be found in my short Renewing Bonds. You don't have to read that one to read this one but it may be helpful. _

The train window was streaked with rain blurring the scenery. The trees were nothing more than abstract blurs as the train whizzed past. The mountains appeared only as huge chunks of brown and green, indistinguishable in any shape or form. Everything was fragmented and disjointed, not making sense. In an odd way it was all very comforting because he felt like that himself – fragmented, disjointed as if his life made no sense. He had always had a goal to achieve, a purpose to press on towards. Yet now that was all gone. From the time that he was little, he had wanted nothing more than to be rich. Never would he have to worry about where his next meal was coming from or where he would pass the night. Gold and silver had occupied his thoughts – waking and sleeping- until it consumed every ounce of him. And now it was done. It was over. The money was made, he was wealthy but he still felt empty.

Laying his head back against the seat, Daniel sighed to himself as he thought about the trip that still lay before him. There was a hesitancy inside himself and he wasn't quite sure why. Brian's letter had said that times were tight for the family. Daniel knew that Sully would never ask for help, especially as far as money was concerned which made Brian's letter all the more intriguing in Daniel's mind. The truth was he had more than enough money and he was happy to help Sully out in whatever way he could. He recognized the fact that much of his success in Virginia City was due to his best friend working beside him non-stop for a month. Thoughts of the cave in rushed back to him as he remembered the way Sully had taken over then and even after to help things get back on track.

It had been almost a year since he had last seen Sully. Their time together had been wonderful and when Sully left, he had honestly missed him. The chance to see him again had at first excited him and he felt a deep obligation to help Sully out in whatever way he could. This wasn't the first time he had thought about visiting. Sully had asked him to come for Christmas and then right after his daughter was born but Daniel had always found excuses. While Daniel was curious about Sully's family, he couldn't shake the feelings of despondency he felt at the thought of them.

Family had never been important to him the way it was to Sully. All he had cared about was finding gold, making money. Yet now that he had done that and accomplished all he had dreamed of, he found himself feeling more empty and alone than ever. He couldn't help but think that seeing Sully with his family would only intensify that feeling. Several times on the trip, he had thought of wiring the money with some made up excuse for why he couldn't visit. He had even made up the excuses, yet at each station something pushed him along. Something stopped him from getting off that train and heading in the other direction.

Now he tried to remain positive as he thought about what the coming days or weeks might hold. It would be good to feel like part of a family he told himself repeatedly. Maybe he could even be like an uncle to the children as Sully certainly regarded him as a brother. After hearing so many wonderful things about Michaela it would be nice to finally meet her. She sounded like a fictional person to hear Sully talk about her and he thought it would be interesting to see if she came anywhere close to Sully's description.

And then there was Colorado Springs, itself. It had been eleven years since he had seen that sleepy little town. How had it changed, he wondered. Would he even recognize the place anymore? Would the mercantile look the same? Would Loren still be his old grouchy self? The train would take him all the way into Colorado Springs. That in itself was amazing. He could still remember when the stage came through only once every two weeks. It would be fun to see the progress in the place he had once called home.

His hand went down to his lapel as he patted the envelope in his pocket. Sully's money was in that envelope, money that he wanted Sully to have but getting him to take it was going to be tricky. He hoped that he would simply accept it as payment for all his hard word. Yet Daniel knew it would probably take some convincing on his part. If times were as tight as Brian made it out to be, this might be easier than he thought. After Sully had done so much for him, he wanted to be able to repay him even in this small way. Yes this trip would be enjoyable he told himself. Reconnecting with Sully, meeting his family... it would be wonderful. Still his stomach clenched in anxious anticipation as the train traveled ever closer to Colorado Springs.

* * *

Sully opened the front door of the homestead and stepped inside, breathing in the smell of home. His eyes lingered over the familiar surroundings as a smile spread across his face. It was good to finally be home even if he had to ride most of the night to get here. Quickly he made his way over to the stairs, anxious to see his wife. The first time they had ever been away from her for any period of time was when he had gone to Virginia City to help Daniel set up the mine. They had been newlyweds then and they found that time apart to be sheer torture. In his mind that hadn't changed one bit, he hated being away from Michaela. He longed to hold her close and he was glad that he had managed to arrive home in the early dawn before the children awoke.

Hastily he ascended the stairs, two at a time before stopping just outside of their bedroom door. Fingering the wood, he thought about how he might greet her. He hoped she was still in bed and he could simply join her there. The thought of her had his heart beating quickly within his chest. His mind vividly recalled their last morning together before he left and his body was already reacting to the memory. Opening the door slowly, so as not to rouse her if she was asleep, he entered glancing quickly in her direction.

Michaela was still in bed. Rays of the early morning sun broke through the window, illuminating her face in a heavenly glow. The white of her nightgown and the bed clothes only served to accent her angelic appearance. The sight of her chestnut locks splayed out on either side made Sully long to run his fingers through her hair. She stirred, sitting up to watch a familiar form drop his pack into the rocking chair.

"Sully?" she asked as she wiped the sleep from her eyes. He turned and smiled at her admiring once again her breathtaking beauty. "You're home." Her voice held a million sentiments and Sully was enjoying each one. As if there was not another moment to be lost, Sully closed the distance between them as he pushed the door closed. Leaning down, he cupped her cheek in his hand and gave her a gentle good morning kiss. "I didn't expect you until this afternoon," Michaela said wistfully, delighted that Sully actually stood in their bedroom.

"Rode all night. Didn't wanna spend another night sleepin' in Manitou." Sully took off his gloves and jacket as he spoke, his eyes roving over her face drinking in their fill. From the first moment he had seen her, she had taken his breath away and still it continued to happen, especially at moments like this.

"You finished the fence?" Michaela asked with a touch of concern in her voice.

Sully nodded happily. He looked pleased with himself. "They paid me five dollars extra for doin' it early." Sitting down on the end of the bed, he smiled up at her again anticipating what he hoped was to come.

Shaking her head slightly, Michaela gave him a weak smile. "You've been working so hard."

Sully couldn't help but let out a light chuckle. "Look who's talkin'."

"Yes, but I don't have to leave home when I do," Michaela said as she averted her eyes from his gaze.

Sully turned from her, wishing that things were different. He let out a deep sigh feeling the pressure descend upon him once more. "Gotta go where the work is, Michaela. We got a mortgage to cover."

"I know ... And I feel so guilty about it, Sully. If I hadn't burned everything at the clinic – " Her voice cracked as she spoke which immediately broke Sully's resolve. She wasn't upset with him, she was upset with herself.

"Hey, whatever happens to you, happens to me. We're in this together," he reminded her. Giving her a coy smile, he leaned over once more. 'Sides, I don't mind the hard work. It's the sleepin' apart I can't get used to." He watched as she turned towards him, her mouth eagerly seeking his. He hungrily caught her top lip in between his, before pulling away reluctantly. Their eyes locked as Michaela smiled demurely.

"I'm glad you're home," she whispered sending shivers down Sully's spine.

"Only place I wanna be," he assured her. His hand went up to stroke her cheek and he couldn't resist letting it wander down her neck lingering over the softness there. He smiled at her seductively, readying himself to claim her lips once again.

Michaela had other things on her mind though. Taking Sully by surprise, she moved to get out of the bed as she sucked her bottom lip in between her front teeth. There was so much to do she thought to herself.

Sully was confused by her behavior. He thought they had been on the same wave length. The looks… the heated kiss… It wasn't like Michaela to not want to reconnect as soon as possible whenever he came home from being away. "Where ya goin'?" he asked as his eyes followed her.

She turned and looked at him. "I need to bake," she stated rather matter of fact.

"Bake? " Sully asked looking rather perplexed. He settled himself more firmly on the edge of the bed and looked up at her."And straighten the house." Sully gave her another odd look making her think he had forgotten. "Our guest comes today," she reminded him.

"Daniel?" he asked surprisingly as he moved to take off his shoes. "You don't have to make a fuss over him." He lifted his arm to touch her shoulder wanting to draw her back towards the bed.

"Sully, he's your oldest and dearest friend. I want to make a good impression," she explained as a nervous glint appeared in her eye.

Sully stroked her arm reassuringly. "Ya don't have to worry 'bout that. Daniel's like family. "

"Exactly," Michaela replied moving quickly away from him to get dressed. She missed the look of dejection and surrender. Her mind was too preoccupied with all she still needed to do. Sully knew how she was and he loved her even when she was fretting about silly things like this. She had been an absolute mess when her friend Miriam had visited so why should he expect anything different now. Yet he couldn't help but feel a little disappointed that his overtures had been rejected. He stretched out along the bed and watched her dress, smiling at her every few minutes when she turned to look at him.

"Why don't you try to get a little sleep?" she suggested as she pinned her hair up. "The children shouldn't be up for awhile and afterwards I'll try to keep them quiet."

Sully nodded and closed his eyes, relaxing back against the pillows. He heard the door open and close as she left the room but still his thoughts remained on her. The tiredness from a few hours earlier had completely dissipated now and he didn't feel much like lying in bed. Well that wasn't exactly true. He didn't feel much like sleeping. Maybe, he thought to himself, maybe I can convince her to come back upstairs with me. Quickly he rose from the bed to find Michaela.

Michaela had already pulled out the things she needed and was just beginning to measure out the flour when she heard the footsteps on the stairs. She assumed it was Brian and she spoke without even turning around.

"Brian, do you mind milking the cow first thing? I need some milk for this recipe."

Sully said nothing but crept up behind her, wrapping his hands around her waist. Dipping his head low, he plied kisses to the exposed area just above the collar of her shirt. "Sully," Michaela scolded playfully. "I thought you were in bed."

"I was feelin' a little lonely," he replied running his hand up her body, grazing the side of her breast.

Michaela turned in his arms, suddenly feeling the need to make up for their time apart. His hand went to the back of her neck as she looked up at him. The tip of her tongue came out to wet her lips as her eyes locked with his. "I missed ya," he whispered, his breath stirring the escaped wisps of hair.

"I missed you too." Sully placed light kisses to the sides of her mouth and then pulled back teasingly.

"Good, I was startin' to wonder." His voice was light and cheerful as he smiled down at his wife's flushed cheeks. She laughed lightly, wrapping her arms securely around his back. One hand caressed his skin through his shirt, while the other boldly traveled lower stopping just shy of his backside. Sully smiled at the desire he found written on her face. Pushing her back up against the table, he kissed her again. This time the kiss was heated as she eagerly opened her mouth to him, her tongue seeking his. Lost in the moment, Sully lifted her slightly setting her down on the table, his hand already running back down her body. Michaela arched her neck as he ran a trail of kisses to her earlobe which he lovingly took into his mouth in one swift motion. One leg came up to wrap around the bend of his knee and Sully reached down working his hand under the edge of her skirt and moving it up her leg.

Michaela gasped in surprise and delight and she pulled away slightly so that she could claim his lips again with an even greater fervency. His hand was on her knee now and he wasn't even bothering to roll down her stockings. Still he moved higher and higher, eliciting goose bumps along her flesh. When he touched the bare skin at the top of her stocking, she moaned in his mouth and he felt himself losing control.

"Ma," Brian's voice called down from upstairs. "I can't find my belt. Do ya know where it is?"

Quickly they broke apart, Sully pulling her off the table. "Umm… I think it's in your top dresser drawer," Michaela called back, her eyes locked with Sully's. Sully smiled at the deep blush that had settled on her cheeks as he willed his own body to calm down.

Reaching his thumb up, he brushed the pad across her reddened lips smiling to himself. "Tonight," he whispered at her ear and she eagerly nodded her head before giving him a final kiss.

* * *

Sully was still seething from the brief encounter with Preston but he tried to hide it as he walked with his family to greet the arriving train. He knew they were late on the mortgage payment and he knew that Preston had a right to his money but it was the way the banker always went about things that bothered him. It was as if he purposely tried to make him look bad in front of as many people as possible. Sully already felt bad enough being away from home so much and knowing that Michaela was very worried about the situation. He didn't need Preston making it worse, worrying her even more.

The train whistle made him jump and he shook his head trying to concentrate on anything but the banker. Already the train was pulling into the station and Sully couldn't help but quicken his pace, anxious to introduce his family to his oldest friend. Sully looked up at the disembarking passengers as he crossed the railroad track and couldn't help but smile at what he saw. There stood Daniel dressed in a suit. Already, the thoughts of Preston were gone and he eagerly strode forward to greet his friend. "Daniel," he called to get the man's attention.

Daniel turned his eyes meeting Sully's as he descended the steps to the platform. A light smile was on his lips as he moved close to his old friend.  
"Well, look at you," Daniel said giving a light shake of his head. He had seen Sully dressed like this when he had come to Virginia City but that didn't mean that he was used to it.

"What's this?" Sully pulled on Daniel's lapels. This was the first time he had ever seen his friend in a suit.

"It's called a suit, Sully," he said warmly as the two friends moved to embrace each other heartily, both laughing at the light teasing. Sully moved away and smiled widely, still having a hard time believing that Daniel was actually here. Daniel also smiled finally relaxing somewhat as the pressure that had been building during the train ride slowly dissipated.

Michaela couldn't help but smile as she watched the two of them. The suit had surprised her as well. Sully had always described him so like himself that Michaela had fully expected to see someone in buckskins step off the train. Of course she knew how foolish that was considering Sully only wore them because of his own connections with the Cheyenne which Daniel had never been a part of.

Daniel turned to face the family. "Sully ain't used to seein' me like this," he laughed.

"Ya look good, ya do" Sully replied slapping him once again on the shoulder. He wasn't necessarily referring to the suit but simply the chance to see him once again. The excitement on both of their parts was clearly palpable and Sully eagerly turned to introduce Daniel to the family. "C'mon, let's meet ev'rybody." They walked to the small group assembled only feet away. Daniel felt his stomach flutter. This was it the moment he would finally meet Sully's family.

Matthew held out his hand as they approached. "Matthew Cooper," he said in greeting."Our sheriff," Sully said with a touch of pride.

"I see. Has Sully told ya 'bout all the trouble we used to cause?" Daniel smiled over at Sully who took the opportunity to give him a playful jab on the arm. They exchanged knowing glances as their minds raced back to their youth.

"Musta slipped 'is mind," Matthew replied looking down almost sheepishly at his gloves. It was hard to imagine Sully as a troublemaker, well not in the way say Hank or Jake might be anyways.

Daniel turned his eyes stopping briefly on the woman who stood next to Matthew. His eyes grew large for a second before he hastily looked to the side, to see a young boy. "You must be Brian," he said warmly, giving him a secret smile. "Hello, sir," Brian returned rather formally. He extended his hand to shake Daniel's. A sudden joy flooded through him at the thought of what Daniel's arrival might mean for his family but he tried to remain calm, not wanting to alert anyone to his secret.

"Daniel, Brian," he corrected him. "Y'know, your pa wrote me all 'bout ya. In fact, he even sent me some of your articles." Sully smiled on proudly, his eyes focused on Brian's face.

'Ya did? "he said looking briefly at Sully."Yep," Sully replied smiling at the young boy who was giving Daniel an enamored look. "Colleen's at school, but here's her baby sister." Sully lifted her from Michaela' arms and held her out to Daniel who readily took her.

Lifting the little one in the air, he smiled up at the baby recognizing instantly that this was truly Sully's daughter. "She is an angel Sully." He couldn't resist placing a soft kiss to her forehead. For a moment, time seemed to stand still and he imagined he was holding his own child. A hot pain shot through his chest but he suppressed it refusing to allow jealousy to overtake him.

"She is," Sully readily agreed taking Katie back from him. Taking a deep breath, he smiled widely. This was the moment he had been waiting for ever since he had first heard that Daniel was coming. Finally, he was going to introduce his oldest friend to Michaela. "Daniel, this is my wife, Michaela," he said proudly glancing over at her.

Daniel allowed his eyes to settle on her form once more and he instantly felt as if the air had been drained from his lungs. He had seen her picture before when Sully had showed it to him in Virginia City but somehow it was completely different coming face to face with her. Quickly, he lifted his hand to take off his hat. Her presence alone was overpowering and he felt defeated by it. What was he doing? He held out his hand to her and opened his mouth slightly only to remain silent.

Michaela smiled up at him nervously but took his hand in her own. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Daniel." Her voice seemed to jar him back to reality as he found his words again. "Pleasure's all mine, m'am" he replied smiling sweetly. The smile faded but his eyes remained locked on her face as he felt overpowered by the beauty he saw there.

Sully was oblivious to Daniel's state and he smiled on. "Waited a long time for ya two to meet each other." Daniel heard Sully's words but they felt so far away and distant. Still he stood captivated, wondering if she noticed that he had continued to stare at her. "Let's go home," Sully suggested looking from Daniel to Michaela and back again. As if coming out of a trance, Daniel finally looked away as Sully's voice called him back to reality.

"I'll get your bags," Matthew intoned.

"Thank ya, sheriff," Daniel returned turning to follow Sully while being careful not to look at Michaela again right away.

* * *

Brian lay back in bed looking up at the ceiling. Dinner had been wonderful, more wonderful than he had ever imagined it could be. Daniel was great. Sort of like an uncle, he thought to himself. The stories he had told about himself and Sully, about mining. His life certainly was exciting. Yet the excitement at Daniel's arrival had more to do with the certainty that Daniel would help.

Turning over on his side, he lifted his hand to turn down his light. He hated it when Sully had to go away, even for a few days. He hated seeing the worried looks they exchanged when the subject of money was brought up. The other day when they had gone to the general store, he had noticed the look Mr. Bray had given his mother when she had asked to have the purchase placed on her account. Money was always an issue he thought to himself. He had been young, very young when his father had left but even then he had realized it was a problem.

The image of his mother sitting at the kitchen table, her head in her hands as tears flowed down her cheeks was burned indelibly upon his memory. He had tried to comfort her in the only way that a small child knows. Wrapping his tiny arms around her back, he had hugged her tightly. His mother had picked him up and held him against her cheek assuring him that everything was going to be okay.

He still remembered how his ma and Sully had fought over a window for the new house even though they had tried to keep it from the children. Brian knew that money was an issue even then. It had been the same way for Matthew. Always putting off his wedding until he could earn more and then it was too late. And now, he really couldn't imagine things getting much tighter. Colleen felt guilty about taking their money for school. She had told Brian that but still Sully and Dr. Mike had insisted that she continue with her schooling.

If Sully found out that he had written Daniel – that he had asked Daniel to help, he wouldn't like it. Yet Daniel hadn't said anything or even let on that Brian had written him for which he was grateful. Hopefully, Daniel would offer the money soon and then Sully wouldn't have to go away anymore. Rolling onto his back, he looked out the window of his room and smiled at the millions of stars twinkling down at him.

"God," he whispered into the darkness. "Thank ya for bringin' Daniel here to help and please let Sully take the money so he can stay home. I don't want ma and him to be worried anymore. Amen." With that he closed his eyes slowly drifting off to sleep.

* * *

Just down the hall, Daniel was finding sleep rather difficult. A million thoughts ran through his mind as he contemplated how he was going to get Sully to take the money from him. Yet competing with those thoughts were many others. He had been relieved when he had felt like such a natural fit with the family. Things had not been awkward in the least and he felt as if this was the place he belonged. From Katie's gentle coos to Brian's curiosity, he had thoroughly enjoyed every minute he had spent with the children.

How strange he thought to himself, thinking back to his time traveling. He had been so nervous, so unsure of coming. That all seemed like a distant dream or memory. He always forgot what it was like to be with Sully, teasing and joking with him. Never had he laughed so much as he had tonight. Sully truly was the brother he never had.

Yet even as he lay here thinking about the fun and laughter, he couldn't stop the loneliness that threatened to creep in once again. It was hard not to remember how empty his life was when others lives were so rich and full. Again the searing pang of jealousy ripped across his chest and this time, he found it much harder to ignore. Treading on dangerous territory, he let his thoughts skip to Michaela momentarily.

She was exquisite – everything Sully had told him and more. Truly he had never met someone so beautiful, so elegant, so refined… so smart. The way she doted on Katie was amazing. The resemblance between the two was striking and it was hard to look at Katie and not see Michaela. The way she looked at Sully was incredible. He could literally feel the heat of their glances and he wondered if Sully was even fully aware of what he had. Shaking his head, he threw off this last thought. Sully was nothing if not grateful for Michaela, he knew that. If a woman like Michaela ever looked at him like that, he would fall down on his knees at that moment and ask her to marry him.

Turning onto his side, he turned down the light; hoping sleep would not elude him tonight. The bed felt good after several nights spent on the train. Again his mind returned to Michaela but he pushed the thoughts away. He needed to come up with a way to have Sully accept the money. Maybe he could offer to loan it to him, he thought to himself. Yes that was it- he would try that tomorrow.

* * *

Sully sat on the bed taking his shoes off as he recounted Daniels gracious offer to Michaela. Michaela sat at the vanity already in her nightgown brushing out her hair. "I couldn't take it," he finished, moving to stand behind her. "I know he meant well but I just don't feel right about it." Slowly he lifted his shirt over his head, catching Michaela's eyes in the mirror.

"It was very decent and generous of him to offer," Michaela replied somewhat quietly. It wasn't that she necessarily thought that Sully should take the money but simply that she knew how tight money really was and how much that money could help.

Sully saw the troubled look on her face and tried to reassure her. "Robert E's got more work for me, Michaela -- an' I'll keep checkin' around." Laying his hand on her shoulder, he gave it a light squeeze.

Michaela nodded weakly. "We'll be fine," she replied but her tone was weak as if she was trying to convince herself.

"Here let me." Sully took the brush from her and began to run it through her long tresses. "I know you're worried Michaela," he said watching her eyes in the mirror. "But I promise we'll get through this just like we got through the other tough times."

"I know," she whispered looking up suddenly to prevent a tear from falling. "I know I can't change anything by worrying but it's hard not to."

"Maybe ya need somethin' to take your mind off it for a little while," Sully said suggestively. Setting the brush down on her vanity, he moved his hand to the top button of her gown. Michaela leaned her head back against him, trying to draw strength there. She felt his hand slip inside of her gown and she tried to relax at his touch. "You're awful tense."

"I am," she agreed smiling up at him.

"Why don't ya come to bed with me and I'll see if I can't help ya relax." Michaela felt her cheeks blush but she instantly smiled as thoughts of this morning raced through her mind. Sully offered her his hand which she readily accepted as he led her across the room towards the bed.

_

* * *

_

_Hope you enjoyed the first part of my new short… more soon! _


	2. Chapter 2: Endless Thoughts

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman. The rights to those characters and to the show belong to the creators of the show, to CBS, The Sullivan Company and to A&E.

**Falling Walls**

**Part 2: Point of View**

The warmth of his hand, resting underneath her breast, was the first sensation she became aware of as she awoke. The morning sun was already streaming in the window and she knew they had overslept. Neither one had received much sleep the night before. First, there had been their romantic interlude, which had served to at least momentarily erase the worry from Michaela's mind. That was followed shortly after by Katie waking up and thinking it was playtime for some strange reason. Once Katie was settled, Sully had felt like playing once again and with the memories of their recent lovemaking fresh in her mind, Michaela was an eager participant. Michaela's eyes glanced over at the crib. Katie hadn't made one peep and Michaela knew she was probably still tired from her late night adventures.

Forgetting all about their houseguest, she turned over in the bed so that she lay face to face with Sully. One hand came up to lightly stroke his cheek as she moved suggestively closer to him, hooking one leg over his. He stirred some, the edges of his lips curling into a smile but he didn't open his eyes. Michaela leaned in closer breathing in deeply as his light stubble tickled her fingertips. Placing a gentle kiss to his lips, she smiled and pulled back to watch his tongue slip out to taste her kiss. His hand had been misplaced when she had turned over to face him and now she felt his fingers creeping up her side. Michaela tensed and he felt it, his eyes opening quickly to search his face.

"What's the matter?" he whispered, his breath stirring her loose hair.

She smiled weakly. "Our guest," she answered. "I forgot…he's probably already up and wondering where we are."

Sully smirked and pulled her closer. "I'm glad you forgot – I like wakin' up this way. Katie's still asleep, my beautiful wife is in my arms. Last night….

was…" He raised his eyebrows as a broad grin spread across his face. "Wonderful." Michaela was already pulling away from him, as she slipped an arm over the side of the bed to retrieve her discarded nightgown. "Where are ya goin'?"

"I need to fix breakfast for Daniel and the children," Michaela replied already sitting up to slip her gown over her head.

Sully groaned. "Don't go yet." He ran his hand up her thigh, kneading the ivory flesh at the top of her leg.

"Sully," she lightly chided, sucking her bottom lip between her teeth. He smiled as he pushed himself up in the bed to kiss her deeply. He could feel the muscles in her legs relax as her body opened to him.

"Good mornin'," he whispered as he pulled back a little.

"We can't do this now," she breathed out, her chest already heaving with desire. Yet the thought that Daniel was downstairs waiting, the thought that he might hear them or even assume what might be happening suppressed that desire. "I'm sure Daniel is awake by now."

"So?" Sully said watching her face as he once again began stroking the inside of her thigh. Michaela knew if he continued she would give into him. Quickly, she swung her legs over the bed, reaching for her robe in the process. As she pulled it on, she glanced back over her shoulder to see Sully pouting which made her giggle.

She crossed to Katie's crib to see the baby wide awake but lying quietly. "Mr. Sully, your daughter is up anyway." Michaela picked up the baby and brought her to the bed. "And she needs to be changed," she concluded handing her to Sully as she went to retrieve a fresh diaper.

As she returned to the bed, Sully held out his hand for the diaper. "Here I'll change her. Go fix breakfast."

"Thank you." Michaela smiled at him warmly already moving to get dressed.

"Least one of my girls wants to be with me," he teased as he watched Michaela open the dresser to pull out a clean camisole.

* * *

Sully pulled the wagon to a stop in front of the clinic and turned to jump down. He reached up for Michaela and smiled widely as he helped her out.

"Thank you," Michaela said playfully as their eyes met. "What are the three of you planning on doing today?" She turned so that she could see Daniel and Brian who were still seated in the back of the wagon.

"Thought I'd show Daniel the town a little since it's been a while."

"Ya can say that again," Daniel laughed. "Last time I was here, this was a boarding house." He looked up at the clinic as he spoke, his eyes alighting on the sign with Michaela's name on it.

"It was. I bought it from the bank and converted it into a clinic. You'll have to stop by later and see it."

"I'll do that," Daniel agreed, his eyes lingering over her face a second more than necessary.

Michaela didn't notice as she was already reaching towards Brian who held Katie for her. "I can't wait to hear more stories about when ya and Sully were younger," Brian said enthusiastically as he handed his little sister over.

Daniel and Sully each chuckled while Michaela furrowed her eyebrow. "Don't give him any ideas," she scolded teasingly. "And make sure that you save the good stories until I'm around." Michaela turned back towards Sully and with her free hand gave him a brief hug. "Hope you all have a nice day," she said turning towards the clinic.

"Bye ma," Brian chimed in while Daniel waved.

Sully stood and watched as Michaela entered the building, waving once more just before she closed the door. She hadn't mentioned another word about the money but he could tell it was still weighing on her and that made him feel guilty. He didn't like to see her upset and it was slowly killing him right now knowing she still was. Last night had been wonderful – exactly what they both needed but he also knew that as much as they loved each other that wasn't going to keep a roof over their heads or feed their children.

"Sully?" Brian asked as he continued to stand there staring at the clinic door. Brian's voice roused him and he jumped back up in the wagon quickly.

"Why don't we take the wagon to the livery and then take a little tour of the town?" Sully asked turning slightly in the seat to see Daniel better.

"Sounds good to me," Daniel agreed and they set off for the livery.

After introducing Robert E. to Daniel and settling the horses into the barn, the three of them headed down the street with no particular destination in mind. They soon found themselves standing in front of the bridge leading to the church. Daniel couldn't help but glance over towards the graveyard a little nervously.

"Have things changed much?" Brian asked Daniel breaking the silence that had settled when they had stopped walking.

"Some things," he said. "Town has grown some since I was here last. Church had just been built and the saloon was rather new as well. But the boarding house and the mercantile look just like I remember them- from the outside anyway. Sure the boarding house is a lot different on the inside now." Brian shook his head in agreement. Daniel cast a nervous glance at Sully and finally worked up the courage to ask. "That where Abigail is buried?" He nudged his head in the direction of the graveyard while Sully gave a small nod.

"Did ya know Abigail?" Brian asked curiously.

Daniel grew nervous at Brian's question, unsure if he was tromping on sacred ground. He looked up at Sully who shook his head to let him know it was fine with him if he answered. "I did Brian. I left the day after your pa married her."

"Why'd ya leave?"

"Just time to move on," Daniel said dropping his eyes to the ground as he kicked at some stones. Daniel had always felt slightly jealous of Abigail. He had always felt as if she had taken Sully away from him or as if Sully had chosen her over him. That tension had continued to exist for years in Daniel's own mind and had really only been cleared up last year when Sully visited Nevada to help Daniel. "Sully and I wanted different things out of life." He raised his head now and looked over at the church as he thought about how much things had changed. He had always thought he had made the better decision and certainly that had been confirmed when he had struck gold. Yet now watching Sully with Brian… with Katie…. with Michaela, he wasn't so sure he had made the better decision. "Did ya and Michaela get married in the church?"

"No," Sully replied. "In the meadow." He smiled widely and Daniel knew from the look on his face that it was a pleasant memory. "I wish ya could have been here."

"Why weren't ya?" Brian asked quickly turning to look at Daniel once more.

Daniel shook his head. "Sully and I hadn't stayed in touch that well." He stopped and then corrected himself. "Truth is I hadn't stayed in touch that well. Sully had no idea where I was." Daniel looked at Brian sheepishly but the boy seemed to think nothing of Daniel's admission and was still smiling up at him.

"Why don't we go get some coffee at Grace's?" Sully suggested breaking the slight awkwardness of the moment.

"Grace's?" Daniel looked slightly confused.

"It's the café in town. Robert E's wife owns it," Brian filled him in.

"My, my, Colorado Springs is coming right up in the world. Lead on." He gave a slight nod of his head and turned to follow along with Brian and Sully back through the town toward the café. They choose a table in the middle and Grace hurried over anxious to meet the new visitor.

"What can I get for you gentlemen today?" Grace asked moments after they had taken their seats.

"Just some coffee," Sully said looking up at her. "Grace, I'd like ya to meet my friend, Daniel."

"Nice to meet the owner of this fine café," Daniel said taking her hand in his own and shaking it lightly.

Grace crinkled her nose and smiled shyly. "Thank you," she managed to choke out. "It's nice to meet ya too."

"Sully can I get some pie?" Brian asked before Grace left the table.

"Sure," Sully agreed and nodded at Grace who was already scuttling off to fill their order.

Jake and Hank sat at the next table and couldn't help but notice the newcomer with Sully. They whispered between themselves until they heard Sully introduce him to Grace. Jake was just about to say something when Dorothy came rushing up from the other direction.

"Sully?" she asked as she approached the table. "Is this your friend Daniel?"

"Sure is. Daniel, I'd like ya to meet Dorothy Jennings. She runs the town paper."

Daniel stood and shook her hand. "Nice to meet ya m'am."

"Same here," Dorothy agreed as Grace returned with two coffees and a piece of apple pie for Brian.

"Here we go," Grace said as she sat down the order. Robert E. wasn't far behind, all intent on hearing more from and about Sully's friend, Daniel.

Dorothy was the first to ask a question as her reporter instincts seemed to take over at moments like this. "How did the two of you meet?"

Daniel smiled widely and looked up at the red head "The first time I met Sully?" he asked making sure he had heard her correctly. A slight nod from her assured him.

"Now don't get into that," Sully chided unable to hide the smirk on his own face.

Daniel continued on playfully though, pretending as if Sully hadn't spoken.  
"It was back in New York. We were younger'n you, Brian. Sully was busy introducin' me to 'is left fist."

"I met Daniel's right one shortly thereafter," Sully added.

Brian looked from one to the other incredulously "Ya mean you two were fightin'?" Certainly he had gotten into his own share of scraps but to think of Sully as a boy fighting was hard to imagine. Sully was able to defend himself or his family if needed but in general he was a peaceful individual, preferring to let things go rather than get into a fight over them.

"'Fraid so. Over a game a marbles," Daniel answered with a light laugh.

"We had a difference of opinion," Sully corrected, softening the sound of the word fight.

"But things worked out somehow, an' me 'n Sully been on the same side ever since." Daniel couldn't help but smile at Sully, grateful that some strange force of fate had brought them together when it did.

"Then ya met up out West again," Brian added wanting the story to continue on and on. He was so eager to hear more about Daniel and Sully's early life together.

"That's right. Just the two of us, barely in our teens, 'n ready to take on the frontier."

Hank chuckled from the next table. "You fellas musta blazed a few trails along the way, huh?" he insinuated looking over at them almost knowingly.Daniel looked up at Brian and thought about what Michaela had said earlier. "We got into a scrape or two," he agreed but added no details.

"Grace?" Preston called from another table, a little further away. He had also heard the introductions but was certainly less interested in some little backwoods friend of Sully's. All he was concerned about was getting more coffee.

Grace chose to ignore him and continued looking and speaking to Daniel. "That was real brave, two boys travelin' all alone like that," she said as she reached down to fill up his coffee cup.

"No braver than you 'n Robert E, Grace. Movin' out here to a strange new place…An' now look at ya, ya both got your own businesses." Daniel smiled over at them humbly, truly admiring the lives they had managed to forge for themselves.

Grace and Robert E smiled, feeling extremely flattered by Daniel's words. "Well... we do work hard... " Grace said slightly embarrassed by his kind remarks.

By this point, Preston had risen from his own table with coffee cup in hand approaching Grace who continued to ignore him. Preston reached his cup over and towards Grace. "Not hard enough," he smirked feeling bitter about the lack of attention he was getting. Grace cast him a nasty look but filled his cup before turning back to those seated at the table.

"An' you Dorothy, runnin' the newspaper? I do so admire what you folks've done here in town... " Daniel gave the redhead a wide smile.

Dorothy returned the smile and blushed slightly. Sully's friend certainly was charming, quite a catch for the right young lady. "What kinda work do you do, Daniel? ""I was in the minin' business."

"Coal?" Robert E asked.

"Gold," Brian replied unable to contain his own excitement about the whole thing.

The gold word seemed to pique everyone's interest. Grace and Robert E unknowingly leaned in as did Dorothy. Hank and Jake cast a quick look at one another before straining their own ears to hear all that was being said at the next table. Preston was not immune from the curiosity as well. "Gold?" he asked. Sully smiled but dropped his head, sensing that Preston was about to say something inappropriate.

"How'd ya make out?" Jake asked.

"Got lucky. I found some."

"How much exactly?" Jake continued.

"It ain't polite to question people 'bout money," Brian returned looking over at Sully who gave him an approving nod. Jake gave a slight shake of his head and frowned.Preston puffed his chest out and turned specifically to face Sully, unwilling to let the opportunity to insult him pass. "Sully, perhaps you should take a few pointers from your accomplished friend here." A little smirk crossed his face as Sully felt his own ire begin to rise. He swallowed hard and dropped his eyes to the table in an attempt to control his emotions.

Daniel looked first at Sully and then back at Preston, wondering who this gentleman was. "Beg your pardon, sir, but p'haps you should take a few pointers from Sully," Daniel interjected looking back at Sully who gave him a brief smile of appreciation. The others chuckled as an unnerved Preston glared at them. Preston frowned and strolled away dropping some money on his table in the process. "Who's that?" Daniel asked watching him go.

"Preston," Dorothy said rolling her eyes. "Town banker and general pain to everyone." They all shared a little laugh helping to settle the tension that seemed to develop due to Preston's presence and snide remarks.

"Ya still in the minin' buisiness?" Hank suddenly asked going back to the original subject.

Daniel shook his head. "Nope, sold the whole operation."

"Why?" Jake asked.

Daniel shrugged his shoulders. "Hard to run an operation that size. Didn't need the headache anymore. 'Sides I had already made the money I wanted to make and started thinking maybe there was more to life." He looked longingly at Brian as he said this, unaware of how deep his own desire for a family had grown in the one day he had been in Colorado Springs.

Hank stood up, swaggering closer to the table. "If you're lookin' to spend some of that money, we certainly offer some of those things you might be lookin' for over at the Gold Nugget."

"Thanks, Hank but I think I'll pass," Daniel replied pressing his lips together.

Hank looked at Sully and back at Daniel. "Should have known a friend of Sully's wouldn't be interested." He raised his eyebrows as he said it then turned to walk away, glancing once over his shoulder to see if his comment had gotten a rise.

"Oh my," Dorothy said all of a sudden realizing she had been standing here for quite some time. "I have a million things I need to do. I'll have to say good-bye as well. It was nice meeting you Daniel."

"Nice meetin' ya too, Miss Dorothy," Daniel replied reaching over to shake her hand one last time.

"Good day," she said to the others who were gathered there and she turned quickly to leave.

"Suppose I should get back to work as well," Grace added already turning towards the back of the café.

Robert E raised his eyebrows at Sully. "If ya wanna stop by the livery when you're done here – I wanted to tell ya about some work ya might be interested in."

Sully nodded. "Thanks Robert E. I'll be there in a few minutes." He turned now back to Daniel as Robert E headed towards the livery. "What did ya want to do this afternoon?"

"Thought I'd go see Michaela's clinic and maybe head over to the mercantile and see Loren." Daniel's eyes grew large wondering what it would be like to meet Loren after all this time. Last time he had seen the man, he was yelling at Sully to stay away from Abigail.

"Mind doin' that on your own?" Sully asked.

"Not at all. You go on- do what ya need to do. I'll meet ya back at the house later."

Sully nodded as he rose. "Thanks, Daniel. See ya later."

Daniel looked over at Brian. "Looks like it's just you and me," he said jovially.

"Actually, I'm supposed to help Miss Dorothy today," Brian explained looking as if he would rather spend the afternoon with Daniel.

"That's fine. I'll stop by the gazette office later and see ya," he promised.

"Thanks." A proud look crossed Brian's face as he stood. Quickly, he pushed in his chair before heading across the way to the gazette.

Daniel took the last drink of his coffee and looked around. Colorado Springs certainly had changed since he was here last. There were more buildings, more people but then again it still felt like the same place. A nice quiet place- the kind of place you settled down with a family. There it was again- the thought that seemed to keep plaguing him. He rose dropping a few coins on the table as he did so. Looking around, he tried to decide where to go first but knew already where he was headed.

Arriving in front of the clinic, he took a deep breath and considered going elsewhere first. He knew that internally he was fighting a losing battle but he couldn't seem to help himself. Michaela was captivating- it was easy to see why Sully had married her. Swallowing hard at that thought again, he felt a slight uneasiness rise up inside of himself. He couldn't think about her like this- she was his best friend's wife, already taken.

Realizing that he had been standing in front of the door for an inordinate amount of time, he knocked quickly and popped his head in. Michaela looked as if she had just finished up with a male patient and he felt immediately bad for opening the door. "Oh, 'scuse me. I'll come back," he hastily apologized.

"That's alright, Daniel. Why don't you wait outside for a moment? We've just finished." Michaela turned to smile at him and he felt as if the room had lit up.

"C'mon in, if ya like. Doc just took out my stitches," said the patient.

"Oh, sure, if you don't mind." Daniel stepped inside, pulling the door to as he looked around with interest. The place was certainly different than how he remembered the boarding house looking. It was a clinic now- complete with examining table and many instruments.Mr. Simkin handed Michaela a basket with three jars of peaches as Daniel continued to look around. "These oughta cover it."

"Peaches... " Michaela hesitated for a moment her face falling in disappointment. She let out a light sigh without even realizing it, thinking about how much their family needed cash right now. Daniel heard her light sigh and turned to watch the interaction. The look on her face moved him and he seemed to forget momentarily that he was sort of eavesdropping even if he had been invited in.Mr. Simkin had seen the look of disappointment and heard the sigh as well. "That's alright, ain't it?" he asked, confused by the doctor's reaction.

His words snapped Michaela out of her dismay. She looked up smiling at him, feeling bad for her momentarily lapse. "Of course. Your preserves have always been delicious. Thank you," she returned graciously. Mr. Simkin opened the door to leave and she turned to shut it behind him.

Michaela turned to find Daniel holding a jar of the preserves, a slight smile on his face. "Sully told me all 'bout your kindness, now I seen it for m'self."

"Oh, well, many of my patients pay me in kind, and normally I wouldn't think anything of it, but now... " Michaela's voice trailed off as a light blush settled on her cheeks. Daniel could tell she was slightly embarrassed and he turned away momentarily. "Unfortunately, they don't accept peaches at the bank," she added trying to break the tension of the moment.

Daniel turned back to see her smiling. "That's too bad. Be nice to get your bankin' 'n shoppin' done at the same place," he joked easing the moment considerably.

"It would, now wouldn't it? " Michaela replied laughing gently, grateful that Sully's friend was so kind. She smiled up at him widely, crinkling her nose up in the process.

Daniel took a deep breath as he watched her. She stepped closer to him for a moment as she reached around to put the preserves back in the basket. The back of her head was only inches from his face and he breathed in deeply inhaling the smell of her. Stop it, he told himself as he physically moved backwards a few feet. He looked around casually trying his best not to be caught staring at her once again. "Ya got a nice place here."

"Thank you," she replied straightening the items on her desk. "Have you been over to see Loren yet?"

"I was actually on my way now," he explained. "Can I pick anythin' up for ya?"

"No, I can't think of anything we need right now." She stepped in front of him again to put some books back onto the shelf and Daniel couldn't help but to watch her. "Would you hand me that other book, Daniel?" she asked reaching her hand out towards him.

"Certainly," he replied grabbing the book and thrusting it towards her, their fingers meeting in the process. Michaela thought nothing of it as she retrieved the book from him and refiled it on the shelf. Daniel however stood mesmerized wondering how one touch sent tingles soaring through his body. She stood quickly and almost lost her balance. Daniel stepped towards her and put a hand out to steady her, again feeling the same sensation.

"Thanks," Michaea said smiling. "Seems I'm a little clumsy today."

Daniel found himself momentarily at a loss for words so he simply smiled as Michela moved past him once again. "Guess I'll head over to the general store then," he said trying not to stare at her form anymore.

Michaela looked up at him. "Okay, see you at home later," she returned as she sat down at her desk to update Mr. Simkin's file. When Daniel realized she wasn't going to look up at him again he finally crossed to the door and left feeling guilter than ever. Walking down towards the mercantile, he tried to shake thoughts of Michaela from his mind. This was silly he told himself. Yet he couldn't deny the way she made him feel inside with just a look, a simple touch. Sully's wife, he told himself again and this time it seemed to work. She was forbidden territory and he simply had to get his mind off of her.

Before he knew it the mercantile loomed before him and he stepped up onto the porch, feeling as if he was stepping back in time. This was exactly as he had remembered it. Stepping towards the door, he opened it for two ladies who were on their way out, giving them a little nod as they thanked him. Slowly he stepped in, letting his eyes grow accustomed to the dark.

"Daniel?" Loren asked from behind the counter. He had heard he was here visiting Sully but this was the first time he had seen him since his arrival.

Daniel turned smiling widely. "Mr. Bray," he greeted the older man. "Nice to see ya again and to not have a shotgun pointing at me."

Loren screwed up his face at that comment, wanting to laugh but refusing to let himself. "Well a lot's changed since ya were here last," he commented.

"I see that."

"Town's grown. New people have come – lost some people too." Daniel looked over at the older man hearing the slight sadness in his voice.

"I'm sorry about the loss of your daughter and your wife," he whispered stepping closer to the counter.

Loren looked embarassed and dropped his eyes to the counter. "Thank you," he whispered. "Sully's changed a lot too," he said as he began to straighten things around the area to keep himself busy and avoid looking back up at Daniel right away.

"Sure has," Daniel agreed.

"All that time livin' with the injuns," Loren said almost disgustedly. "Then one day up and marries Dr. Mike."

Daniel laughed. "It happened that quick?"

"Well… no… but just didn't expect it, that's all. Seem so different, the two of them."

"True," Daniel agreed thinking about the differences between his best friend and Michaela. This thought seemed to reinforce the concept to him that Michaela was unavailable; that Sully and she were completeley and undeniably happy together. He felt almost as if a burden lifted off his shoulders. "But those differences seem to work, don't ya think?"

"Guess so," Loren grumped and turned to go about his buisiness.

* * *

Sully rode to the homestead feeling lighter than he had in weeks. Finally he had the prospect of a job that would help them cover the mortgage for an extended time period. That was all he needed to get them back on track. He simply couldn't wait to tell Michaela and he didn't even take the horse into the barn before entering the house to share the good news.

Michaela was sitting at the table, making notes on a piece of paper when Sully entered. He could see the concern etched on her face but he knew his news would erase all of that. "Hey," he greeted her. Michaela glanced up at him and smiled weakly. "Daniel back from town?" he asked looking around."Not yet," Michaela replied dropping her head once more to stare at the numbers before her.

"What's that?""A budget."

"A budget? Michaela – " Sully started to tell her about his new job but she cut him off."I don't see how we'll ever be able to conserve enough, Sully. We have the loan, and Colleen's tuition..." She looked up at him, knowing he wouldn't like what she was about to say. "Perhaps we should wire Mother."Sully looked at her indignantly, upset that she had even made the suggestion. "We ain't borrowin' another cent from your mother," he replied adamantly."But…." Michaela started to protest.

"Michaela, I got a job," Sully quickly informed her.

"You did?" She smiled up at him, seeing the excitement she had missed earlier on his face."On a cattle drive. A rancher stopped by Robert E's, hirin' men.""But -- a cattle drive? That means you'll have to leave home again." Her smile fell slightly but she tried to hide it.Brian stood on the stairs listening to his parent's conversation and though he hadn't meant to make his presence known he found himself speaking. "How long this time?" he asked as he descended the stairs.

Both Michaela and Sully turned to watch him, a little surprised to hear Brian's voice. The dismay on his face was obvious and Sully felt the guilt of leaving once more descend upon him. It seemed to drain his earlier excitement completely. "Few days," he replied as Brian stepped up beside Michaela.

"Maybe ya don't have to go," Brian said, his thoughts immediately skipping to Daniel and the money. This was the reason he had asked him to come. Why hadn't Daniel made him take the money? Why was Sully so stubborn in refusing it?"I got to, Brian.""But Daniel just got here. Maybe…""Brian, I don't like leavin' ya…" Sully stopped momentarily and looked at Michaela as he tried to explain why this job was so important. "But this is our best chance at makin' a good chunk a money. It'll cover our mortgage for the next three months.""When do you go?" Michaela asked weakly trying not to let her own disappointment show as Brian's was."Day after tomorrow." Michaela nodded but the worry was still etched on her face.

"It ain't been easy, but we're gonna get this loan off our back, Michaela." Their eyes met briefly and he hated the worry he still saw there. "I'll never let us lose the homestead. That's a promise."

* * *

Sully closed the door to the bedroom and stood watching Michaela breastfeeding Katie. The sight never failed to move him and he stepped closer to the rocker where she sat. His daughters eyelids were already shut but he couldn't help running one finger along her cheek. "So beautiful," he whispered lovingly smiling down at the scene before him.

"Be careful or you might wake her," Michaela whispered in return. She pulled Katie away from her breast and raised her up to Sully who took his daughter into his arms. He turned her up over his shoulder for a moment, gently rubbing her tiny back. Turning his head to the side, he breathed in her baby smell – the one that seemed to comfort him in the same way Michaela's essence did. The thought that he would leave her once again tomorrow made him sad, even though he knew it was absolutely necessary. Sully walked with her to the crib and laid her down standing there for a few minutes to watch her sleep. Again the fact that this was his daughter overwhelmed him and he took a deep breath to hold in his emotion. He moved towards the bed and sat down on the edge to remove his shoes.

"You're not mad at Brian are you?" Michaela asked glancing at him from where she stood at the washstand. "He was only trying to help when he wrote that letter to Daniel."

"I know that," Sully defended. "I ain't mad at him."

"Are you mad at Daniel?"

"Nah- but he still shouldn't have tried to give me the money. He never would have if Brian hadn't written him."

"You don't know that," Michaela returned crossing to her dresser. She turned to look at Sully who was working on removing his shoes and socks. "Maybe we should consider taking the money," she said already cringing as she waited to hear Sully's reaction.

"Michaela," he began. "I ain't gonna take charity. I'm gonna take care of my family." He was angrier than he let on mostly because he didn't want to fight with her when he knew that he would be leaving in the morning. "I don't wancha to worry about this anymore."

"It's hard not to Sully," she said honestly, slipping her nightgown over her head. "I wish you'd at least reconsider…" Her voice faded out but she didn't turn to look at Sully knowing he wouldn't be pleased that she was pushing so hard.

After a moment of silence during which time Sully tried to calm himself, he looked up at her. "Michaela I don't want to fight about this. I'm leavin' tomorrow and I don't want our last night together to be spent bein' mad at each other. I told ya I would take care of this and I will. I'm gonna get this mortgage off our backs soon."

Michaela heard the disappointment in his voice and immediately felt bad for her suggestion. She peeked in at Katie once more before hastily making her way over to the bed. "I know you will," she said confidently, standing in front of Sully and placing her hands upon his shoulders. "I have faith in you. I just don't trust Preston that's all. What if he was to call in the loan because we are late?"

"He wouldn't do that, Michaela. We ain't that late."

"I don't know Sully. His father…. well I told you about the time he turned my father down for a loan. He had a reputation in Boston for being ruthless."

Sully relaxed a little as he felt Michaela's hands begin to massage his shoulders, her fingers warm against his skin. He placed his hands on her hips and drew her near, planting a light kiss between her breasts. "It's gonna be okay," he reminded her once again, turning his face up to look at her.

Michaela nodded and smiled weakly but unconvincingly. Sully's heart fell a little as he pulled away from her. Stretching his hands over his head, he faked a yawn. "I'm tired," he said settling back against the pillows. He had planned to spend his last night before leaving making love to his wife but he couldn't seem to stem the feelings of inadequacy that were rising up in his chest. He knew she didn't even realize it but the fact that Michaela had even suggested they take Daniel's money had hurt him deeply.

Michaela was confused by his behavior but she slid into the bed beside him after turning down the lamp. She turned to kiss him but he already had his back to her which only confused her more. This wasn't like Sully to not want to make love before he was going to be away from her for any period of time. She couldn't help but feel slightly disappointed. Yet he did have to be up early in the morning so she tried to tell herself he was only tired. "Good night," she whispered running her fingers lightly down his back.

"Night," he returned suppressing the urge to turn towards her.

* * *

The morning air was cool as Michaela opened the door to step out onto the porch. Sully had led the horse out of the barn and stood just below packing it for his travels. He turned to look at her as she came out, feeling the distance that seemed to be separating them. He felt like kicking himself for his behavior the night before but he wasn't sure what to say to make it any better.

Michaela walked down from the porch and stepped towards him. She had risen early this morning on purpose. The hurt from last night was still very real and she felt bad that she hadn't tried to yet make amends with him. Sully stepped toward her and smiled weakly. "It's not for long," he said seeing the forlorn look on her face. He pulled her close so that Katie was sandwiched between them. "I'm sorry…. for last night," he whispered close to her ear as he breathed in the smell of her.

"It's okay," Michaela returned. "We'll make up for it when you return," she said invitingly and Sully couldn't help but smile as he nodded.

"I love ya," he whispered placing a light kiss to her cheek.

"I love you too," she returned leaning into him all the more, wishing they had a few more hours before he had to go.

Brian's sudden appearance on the porch caused them to break apart. "Pa, I filled up your canteen for ya," he said coming down to stand beside Sully.

"Thanks Brian." Sully took the canteen from him and added it with the rest of his items attached to the horse. Daniel stepped out onto the porch as Sully crossed back to Michaela. Slowly he leaned in to kiss her, savoring the warmth of her lips upon his. He pulled away slowly, wishing they had a few more moments together, preferably alone. Both were lost in each other eye's so that neither saw the look that crossed Daniel's face as he watched them kiss good-bye.

Daniel couldn't quite explain it to himself but the sight made him feel slightly sick and even a little dirty. He wasn't sure if this was because of his own wrong thoughts about Michaela or just the act of witnessing such an intimate moment that certainly served to remind him that Michaela wasn't even a possibility for him.

Laying his hand against the back of Katie's head, Sully gave them both a weak smile. "Be back 'fore ya know it. " Michaela nodded and stepped to the side as Sully turned towards Daniel. "Look. I 'preciate what ya tried to do. Still…."

"I understand. You gotta take care of this thing on your own," Daniel returned hoping that his face was free of his earlier emotion.

Sully nodded grateful that Daniel seemed to understand. "I'm grateful you're stickin' aroun' while I'm gone to look after things," he said, not knowing how his feelings would change in a matter of days."'Course, Sully. Glad to."

"Be good to see ya when I get back," he said giving him a smile which Daniel happily returned. Sully turned now to look at Michaela once more laying his hand against her arm briefly. He recognized the sadness in her eyes and he knew that same sadness in his heart.

"Bye, Sully," Brian said stepping in to hug him. "Good - bye, Brian," Sully returned hugging him as he tried to convey once more that he really wasn't angry about his writing Daniel. "Take care." With that Sully mounted his horse casting one more look at Michaela. He could see already that she was missing him and he couldn't help but feel the same. The urge to get off the horse, to take Daniel's money was great but he knew he wouldn't do it; his pride was still greater. Digging his heels into the horse's side he began to ride off but stopped once as he reached the top of the road. He turned to look back at the homestead and see his family waving to him. Daniel stood slightly behind Michaela with Brian at their side and for one fleeting moment they looked almost like a family to him. He smiled and waved back, grateful that his friend would look after his family while he was gone.

_

* * *

__Sorry it took so long for part 2. Hopefully the other parts will come much faster. Hope you enjoyed this one!_


	3. Chapter 3: Don't Stand So Close to Me

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman. The rights to those characters and to the show belong to the creators of the show, to CBS, The Sullivan Company and to A&E.

**Falling Walls**

**Part 3: Don't Stand So Close to Me**

Michaela could hear the clicking of the checkers as she stood in the kitchen preparing the coffee. She had only recently put Katie down and she wasn't looking forward to retiring to her room. It seemed strange to her that she had slept alone most of her life yet hated to now that she was married. There was something comforting about waking in the middle of the night and watching his chest gently rise and fall as she lay beside him. The feeling of his arm draped over her midsection or wrapped around her left her feeling safe and secure as nothing before ever had. The way he kicked the blankets off while he slept just like Katie did. His face in the moonlight…. she swallowed hard against the rising emotion trying to concentrate on the task at hand.

Standing on her tiptoes, she reached up for the tray on top of the cabinets. She placed it on the table and added the china cups. Her movements were slow and methodical. Not only was she dreading going to an empty bed, she was equally anxious about being alone with Daniel. It wasn't that he made her feel uncomfortable exactly but things were awkward. This was Sully's friend but to her, he was still a stranger in many ways. This was complicated by the fear that he would ask her about her day; that he would want to know if anyone had paid for services rendered. She knew there was no way to get around telling him but she wasn't looking forward to it.

Michaela pulled out two more dishes and cut pieces of cake for Daniel and herself. If they were eating, it would be hard to talk she reasoned as she cut Daniel's piece extra big. She added the plates to the tray along with forks. Now she turned to the stove to grab the coffeepot, filling each cup to below the brim. After setting it back down, she turned to the tray and adjusted things slightly so that everything was neatly arranged, equal distance apart. She smiled and picked up the tray to head into the other room.

Brian and Daniel were still playing checkers and she quietly slipped in, setting the tray down on the table. Her entrance had distracted Daniel momentarily. The aroma of the coffee and the sight of cake caught his attention first as he tried his best to avoid looking directly at her. "Well, what do we have here?" Daniel asked with interest.

Brian looked up at Daniel and smiled. He had him just where he wanted him and Daniel wasn't even paying attention. Picking up his closest checker, he proceeded to jump his way across the board, collecting Daniel's checkers in the process. Daniel heard the click click click of the checkers and turned back, his mouth open in surprise as he surveyed the scene before him. "Best outta seven?" He shook his head slightly as he said it, wondering how he had been beaten once again.

"It's getting late," Michaela reminded Brian.

"I gotta give Daniel another chance, Ma," Brian protested more for his own benefit than Daniel's.

"Actually, Brian, I'm already pretty checkered out. But you are the undisputed champ." Daniel smiled widely as he held his hands off the board.

"Alright, but tomorrow then," Brian agreed reluctantly.

"Tomorrow." Daniel smiled widely and shook Brian's hand.

Brian scuttled over to hug Michaela. "Goodnight, ma," he said before turning to head up the stairs leaving Michaela and Daniel alone together.

Michaela's eyes locked with his for a moment and she suddenly felt extremely awkward. Hastily she dropped her eyes to the tray and looked for any type of distraction. Again she straightened a coffee cup as she heard Daniel's approaching footsteps. "So how'd it go today?" he asked making her cringe inwardly. She knew what he meant and this was the one question she wanted to avoid.

After a brief hesitation, she looked up at him. "Well -- I billed all of my patients."

"Good, that's good." Daniel reached for a cup of coffee before looking back up at Michaela who stood there awkwardly fumbling for words.

A light blush settled across her cheeks as she folded and unfolded her hands. "I didn't say they paid me, though." A nervous little laugh escaped her throat and she immediately dropped her head back to the tray under the pretense of picking up her coffee.

"At least ya tried," Daniel offered sensing how hard this was for her.

Michaela smiled but still did not look at him, taking a sip of her coffee instead. Daniel continued to watch her even as he sipped his own coffee. He knew why he suddenly felt so nervous inside but her nervousness was perplexing him. Glancing back towards the hearth he noticed the checker board. "Checkers?" he asked, trying to think of anything to ease the tension.

"Oh, no, chess is my game," Michaela replied with a nod of her head.

Daniel perked up at the word chess. "Chess - You play chess?

"Well, I love to, but I haven't played in years." He could see the excitement building in her eyes at the prospect of a game.

Daniel smiled broadly. "My kind a opponent."

Raising her head, she smiled at him, her excitement now shining through brightly. "We'll see about that, now won't we?" she said with a touch of amusement.

Daniel took a deep breath, watching as she crossed to the cabinet. That coy smile she had given him just before turning still filled his senses and he suddenly began to think that playing chess with her might not be the best idea. Yet she was clearly excited – he would simply remember to concentrate on the game.

"I ain't gonna go easy on ya now, just cause you're Sully's wife," Daniel joked trying to cover his own anxiousness.

"Fine. That means you'll have no excuses later when you lose," Michaela replied cheekily watching as Daniel's mouth dropped open.

Amusement was written on her face and he relaxed completely as she smiled once again. Her smile was his complete undoing and he found the guard he had raised a few moments before was already slipping. "So ya think you'll be a challenge, do ya?" he teased.

They moved to the board and began to clear the checker pieces."I don't want to alarm you, Daniel." Michaela hesitated here, her lips curling on the outside edges. "But I have won a trophy or two – " She glanced up at him slyly, their eyes meeting over the board. "Or six in my day."

"Six? " Daniel asked incredulously, his confidence draining as his eyes grew large. Yet that didn't matter as he looked up at her. The enthusiasm on her face was contagious and even if he now knew he would most likely lose, just the opportunity to play with her seemed worth it.

Michaela seemed oblivious to the fact that Daniel's eyes were riveted to her as she continued to set up the chess pieces excitedly. "I remember, even when I was a child, my mother and sisters would refuse to play with me. Only my father enjoyed our games -- though less so once I started winning." Again she looked up at Daniel with another coy smile.

He heard every word she was saying but they didn't really register. Her face in the light of the fire, her hair hanging over the edge of her shoulders, the animation of her voice seemed to entrance him and he gave himself over to her charms, forgetting all about his earlier vow to focus solely on the game. He couldn't seem to control where his thoughts were taking him. Those lips – what would it feel like to kiss those lips? They stopped moving and he woke as if from a dream.

"Well then I guess I better watch out for you," he said trying to sound smooth and thinking that he sounded rather foolish instead. He smiled at her anyway and raised his eyebrow.

"You'd better," she teased, smiling broadly as she continued to set up the pieces. Again Daniel found he could not look away from her. His eyes drunk in her face, longing to cup it in his hands and cover it with soft gentle kisses. A pang of guilt shot through him but he pushed it aside – what harm were his thoughts as long as he didn't act on them.

She turned her face up towards him. "There – your move," she said softly. Daniel took a deep breath and tried to focus on the game as his mind repeated over and over "This is Sully's wife."

Michaela set about playing enthusiastically capturing Daniel's pawn almost immediately. The game went fairly quickly. Michaela was obviously the more skilled player but it wasn't helped by the fact that Daniel was dealing his own internal struggle. Each time she took one of his pieces, she would look up at him capturing her bottom lip between her teeth as if she was suppressing a full out grin. Her bishop moved to take his knight and he smacked his forehead wondering how he had not seen that one coming.

"Sorry," she grinned sheepishly.

"Don't be," he assured her as he made his next move.

"When I was younger my mother always told me I was too competitive; that it was unladylike," she giggled slightly as she said this. "She thought I would never get married." Michaela advanced her queen two spaces.

Married - Married to Sully, his best friend. Daniel swallowed hard once more. "But you did," he managed to whisper, dropping his eyes to the board under the pretense of searching for his next move.

"Yes, I did," she said smiling widely. "Of course if you had told me how my life would turn out I never would have believed you. My dream was to be best doctor in Boston. Check." She looked up at him as he stared incredulously at the board.

"What…. I …. Need to pay better attention," he muttered moving his king out of harm's way.

Michaela laughed. "I told you I was good," she said cheekily. "Checkmate."

Daniel shook his head and laughed. "I can't win a game tonight it seems." Michaela joined his laughter and the sound was like music to his ears.

A muffled cry could be heard from upstairs and Michaela rose quickly. "Daniel, do you mind closing up for the night?" she asked already headed towards the stairs.

"Of course not," he assured her.

"Thanks," she said casting him one last glance over her shoulder before lifting her skirt slightly to ascend the stairs. Daniel stood watching her go; his mind filled with a myriad of thoughts each one as inappropriate as the next. "Sully's wife," he whispered to himself, turning toward the front door to secure it for the night.

Methodically he moved around the room, turning down the lamps, picking up their coffee cups and uneaten cake. This felt good – to be needed, to be part of a family. It was only then that he realized why this was so hard. Yes he was attracted to Michaela but he also wanted the life Sully had.

* * *

_Attaching the bag to his horse, he looked up at the porch just as she emerged with the baby in her arms. The sight made him smile. Her long chestnut locks surrounded her face and he longed to bury his nose there and breathe in the scent of her. A rosy hue tinted her cheeks as the morning sun kissed her face. The result was that she looked absolutely radiant. Watching as she descended the steps, a broad grin spread across his face and he moved closer to her._

_The baby cooed softly and he leaned down to place a light kiss to her downy hair. Raising his head, his eyes locked with hers. "I'm going to miss you," she whispered and he could already see the tears forming in her eyes._

_Wrapping his arms around her and the baby, he pulled her against him. "It's only for a few days." His whispered words stirred wisps of her hair as the first tear fell from her eye. Bending his head, he kissed it away. _

"_I know but when you're gone – I miss you so much." _

_A soft smile formed on his lips as he straightened up and placed a kiss to her forehead. One of his hands came up to cup her cheek as his thumb stroked her face. "You are so beautiful," he whispered leaning down once more to place a soft kiss to her warm lips. Her free hand came up to the back of his neck before he even had a chance to pull away. They kissed again, this time her top lip caught between his as the passion between them increased. She pulled away this time, laying her head against his shoulder and letting him hug her tightly to himself being careful of the baby she still held in her arm._

"_Daniel," she whispered. "Daniel…._Daniel," her voice rang out through the room as he opened his eyes. Another knock came to the door. "Daniel."

He swallowed hard. "Michaela?"

"Sorry that I woke you but I'm leaving for town a little early today. I wasn't sure if you were planning on going in with me or not."

Daniel sat up quickly and looked around finally recognizing his surroundings. It was her voice that called to him but she stood on the other side of his door, not wrapped in his arms. He started to get up and open the door but then decided that might not be the best idea. The dream had a stronger effect on him then he first realized. "Go on without me Michaela. I'll ride in later after I've had some breakfast."

"I left some biscuits on the table and there is bacon on the stove," she called back.

"Thanks… thank you," he returned, his words coming out rather high pitched. He heard her feet walk down the hall and he slowly rose from the bed, walking over to the washstand. He poured water into the basin and leaned over to splash it onto his face. This has to stop he told himself, feeling guiltier than ever. She's Sully's wife.

* * *

Michaela traced her route back downstairs. She was surprised that Katie was still asleep especially with lunch time being so near but she had woken several times during the night as her teeth were bothering her. She stepped back into the examining room, leaving the door open so she could hear Katie if she cried. Sweeping over to her desk, she ran her hand lightly over the ledger she had found buried at the back of one of her desk drawers. She had bought it shortly after she had arrived from Boston, before she had realized that most people weren't going to pay her in cash. It wasn't that she didn't know how to run her practice like a business; rather she was inclined not to think about things in that mode.

To her medicine was more about caring for people rather than making a living but the second one was necessary and so she was grateful for Daniel's gentle insistence that she start charging people. This wasn't going to be easy for her but she knew it was needed especially since Sully was sacrificing so much on her behalf. A knock came to the door and she crossed to answer it, smiling broadly when she saw Daniel on the other side. "Come on in," she said moving to the side.

Daniel stepped through somewhat nervously, shoving his hands into his pockets as he did so. "Sorry I wasn't ready to go this morning," he apologized, his eyes looking anywhere but at her.

"Don't apologize. I just didn't want to leave you if you had planned on riding with me. I meant to tell you last night but when Katie cried…" Her voice trailed off as she turned towards the desk. "Come here, I want to show you something." Daniel stepped somewhat closer while trying to keep his distance at the same time. "I've always kept very thorough medical records, of course, but I never paid much attention to bookkeeping before." Michaela sat down at her desk her hands moving over the receipt book and ledger. "Now, each of my patients will receive a bill, and a receipt - if they pay me - and then every transaction will be recorded... here."

"Ya done good, Michaela," Daniel assured her.

"Well, you inspired me. " Michaela smiled up at him as Daniel's eyes truly met hers for the first time since he had entered. He knew he should turn away… he knew he should run away. The desire to reach out and touch her rose up inside of him as he felt his heart melting. The look in her eyes… the compliment. Maybe she was fighting similar feelings. No that was utter nonsense. She's just being nice he told himself.

"Look," Michaela said waving him even closer. Daniel hesitates knowing he shouldn't move any closer to her. Michaela moved so that he could sit in her chair. Daniel sat down a little reluctantly. "I have to make certain that I record everything correctly. "

"I'm sure that ya will," Daniel muttered trying to concentrate on the ledger on the desk.

Michaela leaned over him, pointing to the columns. She was close enough now that he could smell her hair. Don't stand so close to me Daniel screamed out in his head trying hard to look at what she was showing him but slowly losing the battle. His eyes went up to her face and he was lost once again – her voice only serving as background noise.

"These columns are for my Cash Disbursements -- supplies and such -- and these are for Cash Receipts. " Michaela turned to look at him, anxious to see his approval. The movement of her head brought him back to his senses momentarily and he hastily returned his eyes to the ledger.

The neat rows rose up before him and he couldn't help but smile. "Exactly right," he said happily. "An' ev'rythin's so straight an' neat. I mighta expected that from you. "

"I want to thank you, Daniel, for all your advice." Her voice was soft and sweet, the sides of her mouth curling up so gracefully.

Don't stand so close to me, his mind screamed out again. "Glad to help," he replied shifting back in the chair obviously uneasy. "Is it time for lunch?"

"Why yes, I suppose it is," Michaela said moving away from Daniel. He felt his body relax as she increased the space between them. "Katie should be up by now. I just need to go get her." Daniel nodded, breathing a sigh of relief as she stepped through the stairwell door.

* * *

Daniel stared out the window into the night looking for any trace of her. She had said she was going for a walk after she laid Katie down. Certainly Sully had taught her to take care of herself in the wilderness but he still wasn't thrilled about the fact that it was dark and Michaela was outside somewhere by herself. She had seemed so distant throughout dinner. He was fairly sure it had to do with Preston's visit that afternoon but still a small part of him worried that she had guessed at his own feelings for her. His cheeks grew warm with just the thought of what she might think of him if she knew.

Things had gotten out of hand – well his thoughts had gotten out of hand anyway. But he had already decided that he would leave soon after Sully came back. It would be rude to go right away but with Sully there to remind him that Michaela was not a free woman, he thought it would be easier. Unconsciously he had stepped into Sully's role around the house and he was enjoying it too much. That, added to the growing feelings he had for Michaela was a dangerous combination.

Where was she? Would she be back soon? He hated to think she was upset and alone in the encroaching darkness. Wasn't he supposed to watch over her? Wasn't he supposed to take care of her in Sully's absence? Clenching his hands at his side he willed himself to calm down, to relax some.

"Ya ready?" Brian called from the checkerboard.

Daniel turned quickly. "Oh.. sure.. umm – just lookin' to see if your ma was back. She's alright out there isn't she?"

"Ma? Yeah, she's fine. She likes to go on walks at this time of night course usually Sully goes with her."

Daniel crossed the room and sat down opposite of Brian. He looked at the neat rows of red checkers in front of him as his mind continued to work. "Brian, your ma was awfully quiet at dinner – do you think she's alright?"

Brian looked up at him. "She gets like this sometimes when Sully's gone. I think she just misses him." Daniel nodded watching Brian make the first move of the game. He hadn't thought of that- he had assumed it had to do with Preston or himself but certainly this made more sense. She missed Sully, she loved Sully – and that was what he needed to remember.

* * *

Michaela stopped as she came to the top of the rise leading to the house. This was her house – Sully had built it for her, for their family. And now- now they might lose it. Raising her hand to wipe once more at her tears, she took a deep breath reminding herself that crying never helped anything. At least that was always what her mother had told her. Silly displays of emotion were not tolerated in public and sometimes not even in private growing up with Elizabeth. Josef was a different story. He would move heaven and earth to stop her from crying but only because it upset him to know she was upset. Sully was the one person she didn't mind showing her emotion to. She didn't have to be always stalwart or hide her emotions. Only God knew how she needed him now.

Again she looked at the house, the light twinkling out from each window, calling to her. She didn't know what to do. Preston was threatening to foreclose and she had no doubts that he would do it. He had demonstrated time and time again that he was ruthless, uncaring. This afternoon, there had been a malicious look in his eye and it was almost as if he was salivating at the prospect of snatching this place from them.

It was too late now to wire her mother – too late to sell her supplies. The only viable option open to her was Daniel and she knew how Sully felt about that. She didn't want to go against his wishes and so she tried to put that option out of her mind. Again she felt the same hopelessness set in, freezing her heart and turning her blood to ice. She turned her face up to the sky watching the stars for a moment, remembering to herself that somewhere Sully was looking at the same stars and thinking of her. "Oh Sully," she whispered into the dark wishing he was here. It was one thing to lose your house and quite another to face it alone.

Michaela stood there for sometime her thoughts constantly drifting between Sully and her current dilemma. She looked back at the house and took a deep breath, stealing herself for her return. There was no sense in staying outside any longer. It was chilly out here – she might as well enjoy the house now because…. She didn't complete the thought; she couldn't complete the thought or she knew she would begin to cry all over again. Slowly she walked towards the house, each footstep almost painful for her to complete. Stopping once again near the barn, she took in the house. It had never looked cozier or more inviting than it did at this moment. Hugging her coat closer to her chest, she swallowed hard against the emotion that was so near the surface and walked on toward the house.

Daniel stepped outside into the moonlight, his eyes scanning the road for any sign of her. The night air was chilly and he hastily pulled his jacket on. Near the barn his eyes fell on her lone figure, her back turned towards him. She was obviously upset about something and his own face was lined with concern for her. Daniel started down the stairs towards her, drawn as if by some supernatural force. Her presence seemed to entrance him.

Michaela heard his footsteps and turned her head to watch his approach. Daniel slowed as he discerned the fresh tear tracks on her face and the way her shoulders slumped as she walked. Quickly hiding her distress behind a forced smile, Michaela moved towards him. She was too preoccupied to notice his lingering gaze or the way his eyes lovingly combed her face.

"Don't tell me tonight's checkers tournament is over," she said trying hard to sound light-hearted.

"'Fraid I ain't much competition for 'im." Daniel cast a sideways glance at Michaela as she lifted her head avoiding looking him in the eye. "Fact is I can't win a game in this house."

"Would you mind if we don't play ours tonight?" There was no smile now to hide the sadness and Daniel felt as if his heart was breaking as he stood watching the pain that surfaced.

Now he was sure that whatever was troubling Michaela went deeper than missing her husband. If it was money or if it was him, he could do something –he could makes things alright. With that in mind, he asked, "Michaela, is ev'rythin' alright?"

She could hear the concern in his voice but if she told him, he would insist that she take the money. She couldn't go against Sully's wishes, could she? If it meant saving their house... "Of course, everything's fine. I'm tired that's all," she lied cutting off her line of thought completely. She tried to smile reassuringly but found that she couldn't even force herself this time.

"Feelin' kinda tired myself," Daniel replied unsure whether or not to believe her words, when her face was still so troubled.

"Good night, Daniel."

"'Night," Daniel returned. He stood still as she walked away. He longed to pull her into his arms and soothe away her worries. It was killing him to see her in this state but it felt as if there was nothing he could do. The sound of the door closing jarred him and he looked around - he was alone again.

_

* * *

__A thick fog obscured her surroundings yet she moved on determined to find what she was looking for. Tears stung her eyes but she hastily wiped at them refusing to let herself give up. The air was cold, biting at her fingers and cheeks as she pushed on into the night. Her feet came down hard against the bare ground and it was only then that she realized she was barefoot. Not only barefoot but suddenly her hands were tied at the wrists in front of her. Helplessness consumed her but still she moved on. It was here somewhere – what she was searching for – what she needed desperately to find. _

_The cry of a baby distracted her and she stilled herself straining her ears. Yet as soon as it had started it stopped. She moved on, taking tentative steps as she could not see the ground in front of her. She stumbled once but was able to catch herself before she fell. She trudged on and on through the thick blanket of fog, hoping that at any moment it would lift and she would be able to see clearly again –clinging to the chance that she would find her way. It never lifted though and it was becoming harder and harder to make her feet continue walking. For all she knew, she was going in circles._

_Forcing herself to continue, she picked up her right foot and set it down followed by her left. Again, she stumbled but this time she was falling. Unable to throw her hands out to catch herself, she waited to feel her body smack against the hard ground. Yet she never hit the ground but continued to fall into nothingness. The fog lifted or broke – she wasn't sure which. It was replaced with a blackness that obscured all light and still she continued to fall. Closing her eyes, she opened her mouth to scream but found she could not. Just as she gave up all hope, he found her. His arms encircled her stopping her fall, pulling her close. She was safe and nothing would hurt her again. There was still no light – the darkness continued to hide him from her view but she didn't need to see him to know he was there. "Oh Sully," she cried out having found her voice once again._

"_Michaela, I'm here," he returned gripping her even tighter. She felt his lips close over hers and the coldness from earlier left her body- she was warm, she was safe, she was loved._

Michaela opened her eyes, expecting to see Sully in front of her, to feel Sully holding her. She gasped when she realized it was not Sully at all but Daniel. The warmth came from the blanket- not from Sully's arms.

"I'm sorry, Michaela," Daniel stuttered when he saw how startled she was. He suddenly felt very guilty as if he was a little boy caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

Michaela dropped her eyes to the blanket, trying to shake off the encroaching helplessness that still pulled at her, blurring her dream and reality into one horrific moment. "Must have fallen asleep," she whispered.

"It's…It's real cold," Daniel said trying to fill up the awkwardness of the moment. Swiftly he moved away from her, turning to put another log on the fire. Yet as he turned back, he saw the same pain he had glimpsed earlier and it was obvious that her eyes were filled with tears ready to fall at any moment. "What's wrong?"

Michaela shook her head, pressing her lips firmly together. She had resolved not to tell him, not to burden him with her problem. He would only insist that she take the money. Could she take the money from him? Would Sully understand that she was only trying to save their house?

Standing up to his full height, Daniel determined right then that he was going to insist that she tell him. "Somethin's happened. What?"

The weight of everything seemed to crash down on her at that moment. She knew her resolve was crumbling before she even looked up at him. The tears fell in earnest now as she began to speak. "Daniel…. I…"

"What? What is it?" Daniel's voice was warm and caring; his eyes flashing with a deep compassion. She had to tell him, she had to put words to her fears. She couldn't ask him for the money but she wasn't sure she could refuse him if he offered.

"Preston… the banker… first thing this morning ... he's going to foreclose."

Her words hung in the air for a moment as Daniel took them in. There was a small sense of relief as he had still worried that she had figured out his feelings but now everything made sense. He moved to sit down on the stool at her feet, unaware that he now rested his arm upon her leg. "Foreclose? He can't do that," he said in disbelief.

"Apparently, he can…he will. And Sully won't be home in time or have enough money to pay him." Daniel's brow furrowed with concern but he hesitated to speak just yet sensing Michaela had more to say. "I've been looking… for ways… something..." Daniel followed her eyes as they alighted on a small notebook on the table beside her. "There's nothing I can do..." she whispered as the frustration and despair at her helplessness set in stronger than before. She turned her head away from him, unwilling to look in his eyes. "We're going to lose our home..."

The desperation in her voice drove Daniel wild and it took every ounce of strength he had not to comfort her physically. Instead he poured that emotion into his words. "No," he said forcefully as Michaela turned to him. "I'm not gonna let ya. Michaela, I am goin' to pay off that loan." His words were emphatic, his mind set.

"No," Michaela breathed out quickly but Daniel interrupted her before she had a chance to say more.

"Yes. The way I see it, Sully earned that money. Now I know he doesn't see it that way, but I'm sure he doesn't want ya to lose your home. He built this house outta love for you 'n for 'is family. You can't just let some banker up 'n take it."

His words were persuasive and Michaela felt more torn than ever. Daniel was right, Sully had earned that money. If only he could swallow his pride and accept what Daniel had offered, then she wouldn't even be in this predicament. Sully wouldn't want them to lose the house. Certainly he would rather her accept the money.

Still she hesitated as Daniel continued. "Michaela, I'm Sully's closest friend. I'm your friend too, now. Let me do this… for all a ya." Michaela searched his eyes for any sign of hesitation but all she found was compassion and caring. Feeling as if she stood on a precipice with one foot out over the edge, she made a snap decision, giving a small nod of her head. "Alright," Daniel said smiling widely.

Michaela felt relief wash over her as she raised a hand to wipe at her tears. The feeling was sweet and though she feared Sully's reaction, she knew in the end it would all be okay. Sully would soften, he would understand. The edges of her lips began to curl as it all sunk in. They weren't going to lose their house.

* * *

Home – he was going home. That thought buoyed him and urged him on. He dug his heels into the horse's side feeling the wind whip through his hair as their pace increased. One more bend, one more rise and he would see it – his home. He would see her – his wife. A wide grin broke out on his face as he remembered the money safely tucked away in his pcoket. The rancher had paid him exactly as he had promised and now he could cover the mortgage for the next three months. This was it – they were out of the hole and could get back on schedule. He couldn't wait to tell Michaela – to pay off Preston.

Flying over the last rise, he did not slow as usual but still continued his frantic pace pushing the horse on. Michaela was hanging clothes and Daniel was stacking wood. His oldest friend and his wife together made him smile – his spirits soared again as he pulled back on the reigns, barely letting the horse stop before he jumped down. Michaela was already moving towards him and he embraced her warmly. "Sully!" she exclaimed clearly happy to have him home.

"How was the cattle drive?" Daniel asked extending his hand towards his friend.

"Went fine," he replied and then turned back to his wife, smiling. "Paid me just what he promised."

"That's wonderful." Michaela tensed knowing that any minute she was going to have to tell him. He was reasonable – he would understand – wouldn't he?

"I wanna ride into town and pay Preston what we owe 'im."

"You -- don't have to do that. I paid off our mortgage, Sully." Michaela held her head high and looked him straight in the eye as she told him.

Sully wrinkled his brow in confusion and then glanced up at Daniel who stood protectively behind Michaela. Once again Sully had the feeling that he was staring at a couple but he brushed the thought aside as there were other more pressing matters. "Where'd ya get the money?" he asked already knowing the answer. Michaela let out a light sigh and cast her eyes toward Daniel. "You gave it to her?" His voice was accusing, his eyes piercing as he turned towards Daniel once again.

"That banker was gonna foreclose," Daniel defended. Sully's shoulders slumped and the hurt clearly showed on his face. A thousand different feelings rose up inside of him – anger, frustration, hurt, inadequacy…

"Preston called in our loan," Michaela added, wanting to reach out and touch him, wanting to tell him how agonizing the decision had been for her.

"But I was comin' back with the money."

"Not enough. He demanded payment in full."

Sully took offense at her statement and he found his anger swiftly overtaking his other emotions. "Did ya stall 'im?" Michaela gave a slight shrug of her shoulders, faltering momentarily. "Did ya even try?" Sully asked incredulously as Michaela stared at him, willing him to understand, to see things from her perspective.

Daniel knew it wasn't his place to say something. He knew he was an interloper but he couldn't stand by and watch Sully be angry with her. He wasn't being reasonable. "Sully, there was nothin' we could do," he interjected realizing his mistake about a second too late.

"We? It's got nothin' to do with you. This is about my family. I thought ya understood that."

Daniel fell silent as the guilt overtook him once more. Sully was right. This was his family- Daniel was an outsider. He began then to question his own motives though deep down he knew he had done nothing wrong in offering the money. Still he began to ask himself the tough questions, he began to question his motives. Had he only helped because he wanted to impress Michaela? Had he simply been trying to fill Sully's shoes any way he could?

Sully's eyes roamed from Michaela to Daniel and back again. The sense of betrayal ran deep. He felt undermined… inadequate… angry. Taking a deep breath, he turned away from them, knowing that if he stayed a moment longer he was bound to do or say something he would regret.

Michaela looked up at Daniel as she swallowed hard against her own fears. She knew that he wouldn't like it but she had hoped that he would try to understand. She had seen the hurt and she moved toward the barn following him. She waited anxiously, watching him undo his saddle unsure what to say to take away the sting. Somehow she had to make him see…

"You knew, Michaela -- you knew exactly how I felt about it." His words were angry as he carried his saddle into the barn. Michaela immediately took offense at his tone. She could understand that he was hurt – possibly that he felt betrayed. But he wasn't even trying to understand her side - he was being unreasonable.

"Sully, what was I supposed to do?"

"You shoulda waited until I got back." He stopped now, facing her - his nostrils flaring and his eyes flashing with unspoken rage.

"But we would have lost our home," she declared.

"You don't know that," he exclaimed throwing his hand up in the air out of frustration.

Michaela softened her voice so that she didn't sound quite so defensive. "Sully... you made a promise to me -- you said you'd never let us lose the homestead. Why don't I owe that same promise to you?"

"Cause it's different."

"Why?" she breathed out already losing control of her own anger once again.

"Cause I'm s'posed to take care a things," he explained.

Michaela clenched her fists feeling fury flood her body. This was about pride, pure and simple. "Why? Because you're the man? The husband? That makes you more responsible than I? Sully, you've said yourself, whatever happens to you, happens to me. We face everything together."

He heard her words – his words essentially, simply repeated back to him. They were like a soft tug at his heart but he refused to soften or give in. "Ya just shouldn'ta done it, that's all. Now we're still in debt, except now I'm in debt to a friend."

"Well that's better than Preston," Michaela responded unable to believe what she was hearing.

This only served to make Sully angrier and he turned, storming out of the barn back to his horse. Daniel had followed Michaela towards the barn but had stopped a short distance away knowing he was an intruder. Yet as he heard their angry words he had crept closer and now he couldn't resist trying to explain things to Sully once more. "Sully, don't blame Michaela. She didn't wanna take the money. I insisted."

Sully glared at him, feeling the anger continue to build. "Why? Ya knew I was handlin' things."

"Yes I did. But if you coulda seen how I found her. In the middle a the night .." Sully turned quickly to look at Michaela as the words sank in. A vision of Daniel in his bedroom with his wife flashed before his eyes and his hands shook with an uncontrollable rage. Daniel saw the look and quickly clarified. "Downstairs, by the fire -- sick with worry." He stopped, searching Sully's eyes for any small sign that he was really listening. "Can't ya understand? I had to do somethin'."

Sully let out an angry breath and moved to pull the money from the cattle drive out of his pocket. "I'm payin' ya back. Ev'ry cent." He roughly shoved the money into Daniel's hand. "Consider that your first payment." With one more angry look at Michaela he turned and mounted the horse. His eyes bore into hers and she swallowed hard wishing there was a way to make things right. Not only had she caused friction between the two of them but also between him and Daniel. An incredible sense of guilt and responsibility overcame her, cutting her to the quick. She was searching once again and falling but this time she was afraid she would find no one there to catch her.

* * *

_Hope everyone is enjoying.. this one is a little long but I realized there were so many great scenes to include for this part. It was hard to choose. I also wanted to take an opportunity to thank Maritza for suggesting the storyline and for encouraging me to do it. Thanks_


	4. Chapter 4: Building a Wall

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman. The rights to those characters and to the show belong to the creators of the show, to CBS, The Sullivan Company and to A&E.

**Falling Walls**

**Part 4: Building a Wall**

Sully stood just inside the door of the barn, simply staring off into the darkness of the night. All the chores had been done. There was nothing else to do but shut up the house and join Michaela in their bedroom. He took a labored breath and dropped his eyes to the ground. The minute Daniel had insisted on helping build Preston's house, the minute he had told Preston that they were friends – it had been as if a bridge had instantly been formed between them. Sully knew inside he still felt angry at Daniel's actions but he had begun the process of letting that anger go.

Turning his eyes back toward the house, he could see her form at the bedroom window and he stepped closer to the barn door hoping to hide himself there. Things were strained at best between him and Michaela. When he had returned home from town with Daniel, she had looked hopeful. Then he had told her about building Preston's homestead. After that it felt as if she purposely avoided his gaze at all costs. He didn't know what she was thinking; truth be known, he didn't know what he was thinking. Sully had done nothing but dream of their reunion while he was gone and now he stood outside while she waited for him in their room.

Their room- the words seemed to resound in his ears and all the feelings from earlier returned, this time without the anger. The strongest was the sense of inadequacy that had been building inside of him throughout the day. It had been this that drove him to take Preston's offer; it was this that kept him in the barn. A man takes care of his family. Did he take care of his family? Was he even a man anymore? He knew this cycle of doubt and shame wasn't going to lead to anywhere positive. Sully had been here too many times in his life but he felt powerless to stop it.

The words his pa had whispered as he lay dying still rang in his ears. "You're the man of the house now, Byron. Take care of your ma." Sully chocked back the rising emotion and pulled his jacket tighter around him. Granted he had been young, he couldn't have stopped what had happened but that didn't matter right now. His mother had died and he still felt responsible, he still felt as if he had let his pa down.

The words of the dock master laughing at him, telling him they didn't hire little boys who were the son of a whore. That hadn't been true but the words had hurt nonetheless. It had only been by luck that someone else had given him a chance. He worked hard often lifting things that were too heavy for him but he pushed himself wanting to prove to the world that he was a man.

The words of Loren as Abagail left the mercantile for the last time before they were to be married. "He isn't the kind of man who can take care of you," Loren had shouted angrily before turning his back on both of them. And then Sully had proved it to be true. The night at the clinic in Denver – the night Abagail and Hanna died; he hadn't heard the doctor's rude and uncaring remarks to his colleague. Sully didn't need to; he heard and saw enough to know.

"She should have had a real doctor," the doctor had said, his eyes meeting Sully's. The doctor didn't have to say another word; it was all there in his eyes. It was Sully's fault that they didn't have money- that he didn't insist she be taken to the doctor earlier. It was Sully's fault that he had put his faith in a poorly trained midwife who couldn't even perform the needed Caesarian section. Even if none of that was true that was what the doctor thought; her death was his fault because he wasn't a real man who had money.

The window incident before Michaela and he were married had raised these same apprehensions in himself. Yet somehow that had been different. The money was still their money and Sully had come to accept that. But to think of Daniel walking into the bank – to think of Daniel paying off his debt to Preston, it cut him to the quick. His feelings of inadequacy rose up inside of him and threatened to choke him. He was tired of proving himself and had truly thought that part of his life was over. Sully really believed that he no longer cared what others thought but then something like this happened and he might as well have been that scared little boy standing at his mother's graveside.

Again he looked up at the window. She still stood there staring out into the night, probably looking for him. Setting his mind firmly, he decided that he needed to tell her, to make her understand why he felt as he did. His chest tightened uncontrollably at that moment and he found it hard to breath as a sense of panic overtook him. Tell her, tell her, his mind said but he wasn't sure he could.

* * *

Michaela stood at the bedroom window looking out toward the barn where she had stood only a few nights before steeped in such despair. That pain was still very real to her. Somehow she needed Sully to know, to understand how hard this decision had been for her. When Sully had returned from town with Daniel, Michaela had been pleased to see that the rift between the two seemed to be on the mend. Though she was still perplexed about why Sully had agreed to build Preston's house. She knew how he felt about Preston and she had a feeling that if he truly understood what the man had put her through, he wouldn't have taken any work from him. Things had still been tense between them. Their eyes had met over dinner but she couldn't help but feel something had been missing. She realized she had hurt him but did he realize she had been hurt too? 

The sound of feet on the stairs jarred her out of her thoughts and she turned to watch as he opened the door. Nervously, she folded her hands in front of her and bit down on the inside of her cheek. The urge to jump in bed and pretend to be asleep hit her but she forced herself to remain stationary knowing they needed to talk. Sully looked at her as soon as he entered, feeling the dull ache in his heart resound once again. Dropping his head, he closed the door and let out a low sigh. Methodically, he made his way across the floor to the fireplace and he banked the fire for the night as Michaela stood silently by watching him.

"Sully…" she whispered as he straightened back up. He turned to look at her again. "I don't know what to say to make this alright."

"Ain't nothin' to say," he replied.

Michaela furrowed her brow unsure of the meaning of his words. "I didn't know what to do." Her voice was quiet and soft but somehow the words seemed to resonate throughout the room.

"I know," he replied swallowing hard as he felt his own resolve begin to crumble. Tell her, his mind screamed out again. "Ya were only trying to save our house." Michaela let out the breath she had been unconsciously holding as relief swept over her. Tentatively she walked toward him and placed a hand on his shoulder. Sully turned slightly so that he could see her better. "I realize that."

"Thank you," she whispered waiting for him to reach for her, pull her into his embrace but he didn't. After waiting for a minute, she removed her hand, dropping it nervously to her side, still unsure what he was thinking. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Sully looked up at her shaking his head slightly as if coming back from some far away place. Tell her. "Really ain't anythin' to say. It's done now. We'll make the best of it and get on just like always."

Michaela nodded her head as tears pooled in her eyes. "It's nice of Daniel to stay and help you with Preston's house."

"It is," Sully said as he stared into the fire again lost in thought.

Michaela wasn't sure what to do and so she moved to the bed dropping her robe over the end. "Are you coming to bed now? I'm sure you are tired from your trip." Sully turned and nodded. He took his beads off and hung them on the bedpost, then sat down to take off his shoes. Feeling as lost as ever, Michaela moved towards him laying herself against his back as her arms encircled his neck. Sully felt her soft curves pressed up against him and knew what she was thinking. Normally his body would already be reacting but just the thought that he might fail her in this area as well increased his anxiety. She buried her face in his hair placing light kisses to the back of his neck. Slowly she worked her way around to his ear, and lightly nibbled on his lobe. "I missed you," she whispered.

"That feels nice," Sully said anxiously. He turned towards her on the bed and she instantly took the opportunity to kiss him hard on the lips.

"I am sorry if I hurt you. I never meant to," she whispered. Sully swallowed hard and nodded, unable to speak at the moment. He felt her hands pulling at the hem of his shirt and he realized that she was intent on their making love.

"Michaela," he said softly, looking up to meet her eyes. "I'm really tired tonight."

Michaela backed away immediately. "That's fine," she said with a forced smile. "I knew you would be. Come on and lay down. I'll rub your back for you if you like."

"Ya don't have to," he said complying with her words.

"I want to," she returned her hands already kneading his flesh through his shirt. Sully tried to relax but everything continued to swirl around in his head. His mother's death, Abagial and Hanna's death, the fact that they had almost lost their house and now added to the others, the fact that he couldn't even love her like a husband should. He was not aroused in the least. He closed his eyes and pretended to sleep so that when Michaela lay down beside him she believed he was finally resting. She wrapped her arm around him so that it draped over his midsection. Sully swallowed hard – this was usually how he held her.

* * *

Daniel looked over at Sully and smiled as he thought about what a difference a good night's sleep could make. Of course he didn't know that Sully had only drifted off shortly before dawn. Things were not back to normal but he felt as if the major breech had been repaired. Michaela had been right – Sully was his friend and he needed to stay to repair that friendship. The only problem was that Michaela didn't quite know what she was asking. Now Daniel found himself in a doubly difficult position because staying meant fighting his feelings for her as well as concealing them from Sully. It wasn't going to be hard he told himself especially since Sully was back home now. There would be fewer times when they were alone together and that was for the best. It was much easier to remember his place when Sully was by her side. 

His thoughts skipped to the past as he remembered his life with Sully. Never had he met someone who was so devoted to a friend that he would do anything for them. They had been inseparable once and that thought warmed Daniel's heart. The past made him happy for the present. After Sully had married Abagail, Daniel had truly feared he would never see his friend again. Yet here he was standing not more than ten feet away from him. It felt like old times working side by side, the only sound the grunts of their labor. It was in this moment that things became extremely clear for Daniel; Michaela was Sully's wife – his best friend's wife. She was forbidden territory and he realized the thoughts he had deemed innocent were not such at all. He shouldn't be thinking about her in that way. It was wrong – simply wrong. After all, would he want Sully to think about his wife like that?

Sully straightened up and stretched out his back while shifting the spade from one hand to the other. A night of little sleep on top of a full morning's labor was proving difficult at best yet Sully continued to push himself trying to keep his mind busy so he wouldn't think about the issues that had plagued him endlessly the night before. Things were still strained between himself and Daniel but as the morning had worn on, the coldness between them continued to melt. A couple of times now they had even joked around with each other.

"Hey Sully, mind givin' me a hand with this tree stump?" Daniel asked as he thrust the spade into the earth one more time.

"Sure," Sully grunted hoisting a large rock out of the roped off area. Silently he moved over near Daniel and as he shoved the spade under the roots once more, Sully pulled back on what was left of the trunk. Rocking it forcefully back and forth, Sully heard the remaining roots began to break. Daniel grabbed on and began to help as well until it was finally free. Together they lowered it to the ground,

"Fine piece a property," Daniel commented as they both took a moment to catch their breath.

"Yeah," Sully agreed wiping his face with the sleeve of this shirt. Daniel walked past Sully giving him a sideways glance, wondering if he was going to say anything else. He had been trying all morning to engage him in conversation. Daniel reached for his canteen and then moved to sit down on one of the remaining tree stumps. "Preston came to town, found out where the best spot was, then made sure he owned it."

Daniel looked up at him and smiled, grateful for the continued conversation. "The view sure is pretty." Opening the canteen he took a drink as Sully moved over to sit beside him.

"Lotta folks used to like to come out here and enjoy it," Sully added. Daniel passed him the canteen and turned slightly so he could hear better. "Lotta folks used to sit under this tree right here." Daniel looked around imaging what it would have been like to picnic here with someone and immediately Michaela's face flashed in his mind. Hastily he turned from Sully afraid he might read something in his eyes but Sully was still thinking about the land. "Til Preston cut it down."

"Sounds like ya got a long list a grievances 'gainst this fella," Daniel teased trying to lighten the mood and keep his own thoughts out of dangerous territory.

Sully gave him a slight smile "Well, it ain't like I'm keepin' track."

"'Nah, Course not," Daniel laughed, happy to see Sully smiling. Things felt more normal than they had all morning. He smiled warmly and slapped his friend on the arm. "Come on, let's get to it," he said officially calling an end to their rest.

The men worked on, the sun rising ever higher in the Colorado sky. The plan was to clear the lot and have it marked by mid afternoon. They both had been working hard and were actually very pleased with what they had managed to accomplish. The sound of an approaching rider caught Sully' s attention first and he turned to see Preston riding up to the property. Dropping his head, he rolled his eyes knowing that a visit from Preston meant bad news.

Preston dismounted and looked around smugly. Ever since he had arrived here in Colorado, he had wanted Sully to build his house. From the first time he had laid eyes on the Sully's house, he had been desperately jealous. Clearly it was the most beautiful home in Colorado Springs but as soon as his house was done that wouldn't be the case anymore. He had the money to build whatever he wanted and he deserved something grand. Preston had almost given up on the idea that he would convince Sully to build it but this opportunity had dropped into his lap. Every since he was a small child, he had learned that you only had to be patient and usually you could get your way. This case was no exception and with Sully working for him, he had the added bonus of getting a few digs in now and then.

Sully and Daniel continued to work, both pretending they hadn't noticed his arrival. Preston stood to the side, riding gloves in hand as he took in the roped off area. He raised his eyebrows and smiled to himself. Loudly, he cleared his throat but still neither man looked up at him. His smile changed into a frown as he finally resorted to speaking. "Sully," he called.

Sully looked up and shook his head slightly. After laying down the saw he had been using, he made his way over to where Preston stood and it wasn't long before Daniel joined them. "What do ya want Preston?"

"Just stopping by to see how the work is progressing and maybe have a look over those blueprints one more time." There was a nasty smirk on his face that Sully wanted to smack off but he controlled his temper. Grabbing the blueprints from the seat of the wagon he brought them around to Preston and unrolled them before him. Preston considered the document for a minute, making small disapproving grunts here and there but never saying a word. Daniel looked over at Sully and rolled his eyes. This guy was more trouble than he was worth.

"You're placing the bay window over there?" Preston asked looking from the blueprint back to the roped off area one more time.

"That's what we talked about. Said ya wanted to see the sun come up," Sully reminded him but he knew that Preston would deny it or simply change his mind just to create more work.

"Well, I put some more thought into that and, you know, I think I'd really prefer to see the sun set. " Again the smirk appeared on Preston's face. He returned his attention to the blueprints as Sully and Daniel traded looks. "Then the bay window'll face West." Preston smiled, happy to once again have gotten his way. Sully started to take a piece of lumber off the wagon with Daniel's help but Preston stopped him.

"Just a few more minor changes," he said as Sully glared at him. A heavy sigh escaped Sully's mouth and Preston felt even more arrogant just hearing it. "Perhaps you should follow me," he added confidently. Sully took a deep breath trying to will himself to stay calm. Slowly he turned and followed Preston to the far side of the site. Neither of them noticed that Daniel stayed behind or that Michaela rode up a short time later. Preston was too engrossed in his own plans and Sully was wishing he had never agreed to build this house for Preston. "What I'd really like is an entirely separate room -- with cabinets and shelves, room for a desk. A study. Preston pointed to the blueprints as he spoke knowing that he was frustrating Sully more and more.

"'Nother room?" Sully asked obviously annoyed with Preston's new addition.

"Yes." Preston turned to face him head on, smiling slightly. Sully let out a loud sigh as he hit his hand down on the board the blueprints rested on. Anger was now beginning to flood his chest but he told himself once again to keep it under control. "And I think now is a good time to discuss the scheduling change." Again the same smirk crossed his face and Sully tensed automatically.

"What schedulin' change?""I want my house completed in four months. " Sully met his gaze and realized he was completely serious."Four months?" Sully asked incredulously.

"Don't be alarmed, Sully. I'm offering you a ten percent bonus, a little incentive, if you finish the work in time. " Sully relaxed for a moment – it would be nice to have the extra money. "And if you don't..." Preston continued. Immediately, Sully tensed again, knowing that whatever Preston was getting ready to say wasn't going to be good. "Then I'll begin deducting wages with each day you run late. ""That ain't what we agreed upon, Preston. " Sully's face was serious and his stare penetrating as he moved a little closer to the banker.

"But surely this deadline won't be a problem for you. After all, you have your friend's help now. " Preston looked over at Daniel as he spoke, his eyes lighting up at the scene before him. On the far side of the site, Michaela and Daniel stood together, chatting and laughing. "Well, now. That must warm your heart, Sully. To see your wife and your best friend enjoying each other's company."

At Preston's words, Sully's face wrinkled in confusion as he turned his head. He hadn't noticed that Michaela was here before now. She was laughing, her face aglow with joy. Michaela glanced over at her husband and smiled, waving to him before turning back to Daniel.

Preston breathed in deeply. The situation couldn't be more perfect. "I imagine they got to know each other quite well while you were away." Sully turned his head letting Preston know he wasn't going to hear more of this nonsense. The banker backed down, taking a step away from Sully as he did so. Yet as Sully looked back at his wife and best friend, a strange feeling emerged within him. His face grew troubled as Preston's words echoed through his mind. Sully narrowed his eyes more as he watched Michaela take Daniel's hand in her own, giving it a light squeeze. Sully's stomach clenched and he swallowed hard, bidding his mind not to jump to conclusions. Daniel turned nervously to glance in their direction and Sully couldn't help but think he looked guilty.

"I better be getting back to town now," Preston said, his voice betraying the joy he felt at the situation. Sully only nodded his head briefly, his own voice caught somewhere in his throat. He stood and watched as Preston walked back to his horse, saying something to Daniel and Michaela in the process.

Sully wasn't one to get jealous easily. It was actually a rather foreign emotion to him. He trusted Michaela implicitly but he hadn't always trusted the men in her life. The first time he had felt it so strongly had been in Boston when he realized that William Burke had his eyes set on Michaela. Yet that had been nothing compared to what he felt when David had returned to Colorado Springs. He remembered standing in the shadows, watching as David told Michaela who he really was. The way she had hugged him as he had returned to the same scene with the family. The jealousy had been intense then as he imagined her kissing him- loving him. And now it all came rushing back to him in strong waves. Again, he swallowed hard and turned his back on the two of them, willing his mind to go anywhere besides where it was.

Deep down inside, Sully knew that Michaela would never be with another man but with all that had occurred recently Sully wasn't thinking exactly rationally. He felt like a failure in her eyes and Daniel… well certainly he was the hero. The one who had come through in the nick of time. The one who had saved their house when he couldn't. Sully knew that Boston always had a strong pull on Michaela and he had tried to make their home a nice place. Certainly it didn't compare to the finery of Boston but Michaela claimed she didn't care about that. Yet watching the two of them together all Sully could think of was what Daniel could give him wife that he couldn't. All morning he had tried to chase off his old demons of insecurity and now they had caught him again.

"Sully," Daniel called.

Sully turned and looked back in that direction for the first time in ten minutes. He realized Daniel was now all alone. "Where's Michaela?" he asked, confused and alarmed that she seemed only interested in seeing Daniel.

"Oh… umm… she had to get back to town. Had a patient to see." Daniel felt nervous and he knew it showed through in his speech.

"Why did she come out here?"

"Wanted to tell us that she had gotten paid in cash today. She was real excited."

"That's good," Sully mumbled.

"Yeah it is." Daniel nodded. "Wanna get back to work?" Sully shook his head and together they returned to the wagon and began to unload the lumber. They worked on through the afternoon, stopping for water breaks now and then. Neither ate lunch nor even mentioned the prospect. They worked quietly, the tension from this morning returning double fold. Daniel only had to glance at Sully to realize that he had guessed at his feelings for Michaela. Several times he almost broached the subject, only to hold his tongue at the last moment. In his mind, he tried to decide what it was best to do. Should he leave now? Could he stay on and convince Sully that he didn't have feelings for Michaela?

Again and again Sully felt as if he was going over the same thoughts – the same feelings. His body felt numb and he worked on, pushing himself even while feeling bone tired. The look on Daniel's face when he turned around had spoken volumes. He had seen the nervousness, heard the flutter in his voice when he had spoken to Sully after Michaela left. There was no denying the fact that Daniel was quite taken with Michaela; what Sully needed to figure out was how Michaela felt about him.

These same thoughts plagued him as they ended work for the day and rode towards town to pick up Michaela before going home. Daniel was pensive and Sully felt no need to force conversation, almost afraid to speak for fear that he would start yelling at Daniel then and there.

The wagon pulled up in front of the clinic and Sully called for Michaela who emerged onto the porch, looking radiant. "You're early," she said smiling first at Sully and then at Daniel.

As often happened when he saw her, Daniel momentarily forgot to watch his own behavior. Her smile, her air shining in the afternoon sun, the way she clasped her hands in front of herself – all made his heart swell uncontrollably. Jumping out of the wagon, he couldn't help but smile broadly at her, missing the way that Sully watched his every move. "How'd the rest of your day go?" he asked.

"I just put twenty-three stitches in Mr. Bailey's leg. At three cents a stitch, that's…" Michaela said, her face animated as she spoke. Daniel laughed lightly and smiled as he watched her. Michaela turned her face up to Sully and Daniel followed her eyes. It was only then that he remembered himself and instantly felt bad for being so jovial with her. His smiled quickly faded as he turned back to Michaela. She watched each of their faces, confused slightly. The tension from yesterday was back and she wasn't quite sure why. "I'll get my things," she said quietly slipping into the clinic.

It was then that Dorothy approached, heading back to the Gazette. She could feel the uneasiness of both men just watching them. "Afternoon, gentlemen," she greeted them looking from one to the other.

"Miss Dorothy," Sully said shifting uncomfortably on the wagon seat.

"Miss Dorothy, nice to see ya." Daniel's face was lined with worry and Dorothy glanced up once more at Sully who was already staring at the door of the clinic. She couldn't help but wonder what situation she had intruded on.

Her mind worked hard trying to think of something light to say. "Sully, I…. I understand the two of you are buildin' Preston's house."

"That's right.""Would ya consider fixin' a special lock on it so we can keep Preston inside now 'n then?" Dorothy smiled as she said it trying hard to add a little levity to the situation. "Long as I get to hang on to the key," Sully returned giving her a weak smile.

Michaela reemerged onto the porch with her medical bag in hand. One arm was in her coat while she missed the arm hole with her other hand. The coat slipped down. Quickly she moved in front of Daniel, thinking nothing of asking for his help. "Daniel, would you help?" she asked still struggling to reach the arm hole.

Daniel swallowed hard, his face growing uncomfortable. He turned to look at Sully unsure of what to do. Sully bit down on his bottom lip, looking away from the situation. Dorothy watched intently Daniel's hesitation and then glanced up to see the look on Sully's face. Things suddenly made sense. Sully was jealous of Daniel. "Sure," Daniel finally answered helping Michaela slip the coat over her shoulder.

"Thank you," she replied moving towards the wagon and waiting for Daniel to offer her a hand up. Daniel hesitated as he once again glanced awkwardly up at Sully. Michaela looked from one to the other even more confused by their odd behavior. Still she stood, feeling almost foolish as she waited.

"Here," Sully said quickly leaning down to take her hand and pull her up beside him. Sully took her medical bag from her as Michaela settled on the seat turning to face Dorothy. Daniel jumped into the back of the wagon. Again Dorothy glanced from Sully to Daniel – her suspicions now confirmed.

"I'll see you in the morning, Dorothy," Michaela said smiling at her friend.

"Alright Michaela. Gentlemen."

"Miss Dorothy." Sully gave her a nod of his head as he picked up the reins. Daniel smiled at her uncomfortably and also nodded his head briefly before turning his gaze elsewhere.

"Shall we?" Michaela asked cheerfully. Sully gave a slight nod of his head and snapped the reigns as he called to the horses. Dorothy watched them as they departed, making a mental note to talk to Michaela first thing in the morning.

The ride home was quiet though Michaela tried to make light conversation. She had noticed the earlier tension but she dismissed it telling herself they were only tired from a long day's work. When they arrived home, Sully jumped down quickly and reached up for Michaela before Daniel had even moved out of the back. "How was your day?" he asked in imitation of Daniel's earlier question.

"Good. Did Daniel tell you that I got paid today?" she asked still giddy with the news.

"He did," Sully replied. "And I'm real proud of ya." Sully hoped his words didn't sound hollow. He was trying his best to let her know that he too cared about her day yet somehow it all felt a little forced.

Brian came running out the front door at that moment with Katie in his arms. "Hey Daniel," he said greeting him as he jumped down from the wagon. He brought Katie to his mother and leaned in to give her a kiss on the cheek.

Sully swallowed hard, instantly feeling replaced in Brian's eyes as well. He reached out for the young man and gave his shoulder a squeeze. "Hey Sully," Brian said turning to look at him. He noticed the lined look on his pa's face. "Ya want me to take care of the wagon for ya."

Sully nodded. "That'd be real nice Brian. I'd like to get washed up before dinner."

"I'll help," Daniel offered trying to avoid going into the house right at that moment. Sully didn't even look at him or offer a thank you but simply turned and headed up the stairs of the homestead with Michaela not far behind. Silently, Sully moved into the house, through the living room to the stairs. His mind was lost deep in thought and he didn't even take notice that Michaela was following him until she closed the door of their bedroom behind them.

Sully turned abruptly, giving Michaela a weak smile. He dropped his eyes hastily as he sat down on the side of the bed. Michaela placed Katie in her crib and approached her husband determined to find out what was bothering him. "Sully is everything alright?" she asked tentatively coming to stand in front of him as he removed his shoes.

"Yeah," he answered unwilling to look up at her. "Just been a long day."

"What did Preston want?"

"Changing the plans already," he sighed. "Making new demands – bein' Preston." Michaela let out a chuckle at Sully's last words as he finally raised his eyes to her. "Ya look real beautiful today," he said reaching for her hand and praying she didn't pull away.

Michaela smiled and stepped closer to him, thankful for this small sign of affection. Sully gently traced small circles on the back of her hand with his thumb. "Thank you," Michaela whispered as her cheeks blushed with her husband's compliment.

"I love ya."

"Oh Sully, I love you too." She took a step closer as Sully dropped her hand. Placing her hands at the nape of his neck, she pulled her head against him. Sully buried his face in the material of her shirt, breathing in deeply the scent of the woman he loved as it erased all his earlier doubts from his mind. He rested his forehead against her, wishing he could stay like this for the rest of the night. Michaela raked her fingers through his hair and leaned down to place a kiss to the top of his head. It was only now that she felt Sully's vulnerability and knew instantly that something was worrying him. "Sully you're not still upset with Daniel about the money, are you?"

Sully raised his head to look up at her. "No," he whispered, his voice hoarse with emotion.

"Good." Michaela stepped away from him, sooner than Sully would have liked. "Why don't you have a rest while I make dinner? You look very tired."

"I am," Sully returned as he stretched out along the bed. He watched Michaela retrieve Katie and then come back to the bedside. She leaned in and gave him a gentle kiss which Sully relished as he reached up to touch his daughter. "My beautiful girls," he whispered smiling at them as Michaela pulled back.

Her face lit up with his words. "I'll call you when dinner is ready," she whispered backing towards the door. Sully closed his eyes, letting exhaustion overtake him. He didn't want to sleep, he didn't want to leave Daniel with his wife but his body was tired and he could fight it no longer. Sleep numbed his mind and he drifted off into a dreamless blackness, thankful for the soft bed beneath him and the lingering scent of Michaela in the air.

* * *

After dinner, they sat in the living room around a roaring fire. The atmosphere was comfortable and homey but neither Sully nor Daniel could relax. Uncomfortable glances passed between them. Brian stood across the room, reading one of his new short stories. Michaela was the only one who really paid attention. He finished and looked up expectantly for their reactions. "That's it," he concluded. 

Michaela began to applaud which seemed to awaken Sully and Daniel. "Brian, that was wonderful. So descriptive." She smiled proudly at her son and he returned the smile.

"Real excitin'," Daniel added.

"It's your best one yet," Sully chimed in, feeling guilty that he had been so distracted during the story.

Brian grinned broadly, oblivious to the fact that only his ma had really listened to him. "Thanks," he replied appreciatively.

"Well ... you have school tomorrow," Michaela reminded him.

"I know," Brian returned rolling his eyes slightly. Hastily he exchanged good nights with the adults and headed over to the stairs.

Michaela let her eyes linger on the chess board for a moment before turning eagerly to Daniel. "Would you like to play?" she asked pointing at the board. "I'll play ya," Sully interjected before Daniel had a chance to answer. Michaela turned to Sully, surprise written on her face. The same look greeted him from Daniel but for different reasons.Sully felt on the defensive all of a sudden. "I know how," he assured them.

Michaela saw the hurt on his face and felt bad. "I know you do, you're a good player, but... ""Ya just gotta keep the board out from now on, else I never think to ask ya," Sully said as he interrupted her.

Michaela smiled at him broadly, wondering why he was suddenly so interested in playing chess with her. "I'd love to play chess with you." Her eyes danced in amazement, glad that Sully seemed so animated tonight. The nap before dinner had certainly done him a world of good.

"I think I'll turn in," Daniel said as he started to rise."Oh it's still early. Daniel, why don't you wait around? Sully hasn't played in awhile and uh… the game may not last for very long."

"I wouldn't be too sure about that," Sully teased almost seductively. Michaela smiled broadly as a light laugh left her mouth.

Their exchange left Daniel feeling worse than ever. This was his best friend he told himself but he still couldn't help the jealously that rose up in the pit of his stomach. "Nah… I'm a … I'm tired."

"Alright then," Michaela returned, ending her protest. Seeing the look in Sully's eyes suddenly made her want to be alone with him and so Daniel going up to bed wasn't such a bad idea. "I'll make us some coffee." She rose and headed for the kitchen.

"'Night, Michaela."

"Good night, Daniel," she called back from the kitchen.

Daniel looked down once more at the chess board and then back at Sully who was still glaring at him. His eyes were piercing and once again Daniel was reminded that Sully had guessed at his own internal struggle. Somehow he needed to prove to Sully that he didn't feel the way he did. Sucking in a sharp breath, he turned and headed for the stairs.

Sully followed him with his eyes, literally pushing him out of the room with his glare. He refused to relax until he was out of sight. The sound of Michaela returning from the kitchen stirred him and he sat up a little straighter looking around at her. She perched herself on his knee and leaned back into him. "If you don't want to play," she began trying once again to initiate some intimacy.

"No, I want to play," Sully defended missing her overtures.

"Are you sure?" Michaela asked again, this time turning her head to place a light kiss to his neck.

Sully tensed as the situation from last night flashed through his mind. The thought of inadequacy returned and he let out a shaky breath. "You're right… I never play with ya and I know ya enjoy it."

Michaela smiled as she pulled slightly away. "I do," she agreed looking back at him admiringly. "I'll just get the coffee."

* * *

_He watched from the side of the room as he approached her, their eyes locking. Placing a hand on his shoulder, she moved into his embrace as he lowered his head to place kisses to the side of her neck. Their lips found one another and they hungrily kissed again and again. He heard her moan, stinging him deeply. His hands tangled in her hair as he kissed a path down to her neck. Her eyes were closed in ecstacy as his hands began to roam over her body. He knew that look, that sound. She moved her hands in between their bodies hooking her fingers into his waistband. He knew that action, that touch - what it meant. "Oh Daniel," he heard her cry out as he pushed her back onto the bed._

Sully sat straight up in bed, his body soaked in sweat. The dream had seemed so vivid that he couldn't erase the sights and sounds from his mind. Turning, he looked over at Michaela who slept peacefully beside him. The moonlight illuminated her face and he reached out to touch her but then stopped. He didn't doubt her. He didn't believe she would ever do anything like that but still something inside hurt. Somehow he had built a wall between them. How was it possible that she could be so close, yet so far away at the same time? The blame belonged to him alone. His pride, his uneasiness with telling her about his feelings. Brick by brick he had erected this wall and now he wasn't sure how to undo it.

_

* * *

__Hope you enjoyed! Thanks for reading._


	5. Chapter 5:'Til I Met You

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman. The rights to those characters and to the show belong to the creators of the show, to CBS, The Sullivan Company and to A&E.

**Falling Walls**

**Part 5: Til I Met You**

Michaela stirred in the bed trying to snuggle down deep under the covers as the air seemed to chill her to the bone. Unconsciously, she shifted in the bed towards Sully who usually radiated heat. The coolness of the sheets jolted her awake as she opened her eyes to see his empty pillow. Turning over, she hoped to see him in the rocking chair holding Katie or hear his feet on the stairs. The chair was empty though and from this angle Michaela could see that Katie still slumbered in her crib. The only sound that met her ear was the thud of an ax from outside.

Staring up at the ceiling, Michaela lay on her back, contemplating the events of the last few days. She had honestly wanted to believe that they could move past this without it turning into something bigger than necessary. Sully was obviously still upset about something but he wouldn't open up to her. Chopping wood was one of the things Sully did when he had a lot on his mind. Michaela knew that as well as she knew that the wood pile outside the back door did not need to be replenished. She couldn't shake the feeling that he was avoiding her and in more than one way. They hadn't made love since the first night of Daniel's arrival which was odd for them. Yet what perplexed her even more was that every time she tried to initiate some intimacy, he seemed distracted and uninterested. That certainly wasn't like Sully. He usually loved when she initiated things.

Doubts began to flood Michaela's mind. She had lost all of her baby weight but her body had changed. That was part of having a baby she had been told over and over again. Was it possible that Sully didn't find her as appealing anymore? The thought lingered for a moment before she brushed it away. That couldn't be it – he had certainly been interested up until now. Her mind roamed through possibilities discarding each one until she was only left with the money situation once again. A light sigh escaped her mouth as she rose from the bed and wandered to the window.

Sure enough there stood Sully chopping wood like a madman, almost as if he was punishing himself by pushing his body to the extreme limits. Taking a deep breath, Michaela decided to try once more. After checking on Katie, she moved towards the stairs leaving their bedroom door open in case the baby cried out. Swiftly she moved through the house stopping just outside the back door to slip on a pair of moccasins that she kept there. A gust of wind hit her as she opened the back door and she reached over to grab a cloak to wrap around her body. Shielding her eyes against the glare of the morning sun, she made out Sully's form not far away. The ax was raised in mid-air and he brought it down squarely on the wood, splitting it right down the middle.

"Sully?" she called out stepping towards him.

"Mornin'," he replied with a forced smile. He set the ax down and stepped towards her. "Ya ain't dressed yet. It's still pretty cold out here."

"I'll be fine," Michaela protested moving to close the distance between them. She stopped shy of Sully and reached out her hand laying it against his shoulder. "I missed you beside me this morning."

Sully shifted his eyes hastily to avoid her penetrating gaze. "Just wanted to get an early start on the chores," he muttered.

Michaela turned dramatically to look at the overflowing woodpile. "Wouldn't want to get behind on chores," she said her tone slightly sarcastic. With a sheepish look, Sully turned his face back to her and sighed softly. Michaela couldn't help but think that he looked like a little boy – unsure and vulnerable, obviously hiding something. Stepping closer, she lifted one hand to push a stray piece of hair out of his face, ignoring the way he tensed at her touch. "Sully, what's wrong? Please tell me."

A pensive look crossed Sully's face as he considered what to say. With the same hand, Michaela began to lightly stroke his cheek. He went rigid at her touch causing her to immediately drop her hand and shift her own focus to the ground. Sully could see the pain on her face but he wasn't sure what to say or how to break through the wall that stood between them. "It's nothin'," he muttered and turned to pick the ax back up.

"Why are you shutting me out?" she asked point blank. Sully looked back at her momentarily, the green of her eyes penetrating his mind as if searching every nook to find an answer.

"I'm not," he replied defensively, hating himself the minute the words had left his lips. Just tell her, just tell her. He hoisted the ax high up in the air and brought it down hard on the wood splitting it straight down the middle and lodging the blade in the tree stump. Michaela stood watching him for a minute, hoping that he would say something else – anything by way of explanation.

"Sully if this is still about the money.."

He cut her off in mid sentence. "Michaela I'm fine… everythin's fine."

Michaela threw her hands up in frustration as she felt the hurt from earlier turning into anger. Sully sensed the change within her and realized the wedge separating them had been driven deeper. His feelings were battling within him causing his chest to tighten terribly.

A voice at the back door caught both of their attention. Daniel stood with Katie in his arms. "Sorry to interrupt but Katie was crying… I picked her up…" His voice faded off as his eyes met the tense faces of his friends.

"Sorry Daniel. I guess I couldn't hear her." Michaela cast one more look at Sully and then moved to the back door to take Katie from Daniel. Sully watched her go and as the back door closed he panicked. The thought that driving her away was in fact pushing her towards Daniel worried him as the dream from last night reared up in his mind like some monster scaring him senseless. Leaving the ax lodged in the stump, he ran for the back door opening it quickly. There was no sign of Daniel for which Sully was glad. Michaela was just heading up the stairs and Sully moved to follow her. She knew he was there but she ignored his presence still angry and frustrated at his behavior.

Sully closed their bedroom door behind them and quickly moved towards her, wrapping his arms around her midsection as she laid Katie on the bed to change her. "I'm sorry," he whispered near her ear. "I… I have a lot on my mind."

Michaela softened somewhat, perplexed by the abrupt changes in Sully. This only served to worry her more. Maybe the tenseness had nothing to do with her and was still directed towards Daniel. Leaning back against him, she turned her head to nuzzle the side of his neck with her nose. "Why don't you tell me," she encouraged him.

Sully swallowed hard, the anxiety setting in once again. "I will," he stuttered. "Tonight, okay?" Michaela nodded her head as he kissed her once on the cheek. She turned back to Katie as Sully let go of her. "I'll get the baby ready if ya want," he offered.

"That would be nice," she said and stepped away to get herself dressed. Trying to wrap her mind around Sully's behavior was boggling her. One minute he was cold and distant, the next warm and extremely interested in whatever she was doing. She listened and smiled as she heard Sully's soft words to Katie. He would tell her tonight – he had said he would. Michaela only needed to be patient which wasn't exactly one of her virtues.

* * *

Breakfast had been the worst moment yet but it had only served to confirm Michaela's earlier thoughts. Sully was indeed not upset with her but with Daniel. Neither one of them had spoken much over breakfast. When Daniel had suggested leaving, Sully perked up as if he would be glad to be rid of his friend. Sully's assurance that he could stay as long as he wanted had been forced and Michaela knew it was only her look that had made him say it. Yet he didn't appear to be upset with her. He had actually fussed over helping her into the wagon before taking his own seat. During the ride, Sully had continually switched the reins into his left hand to squeeze her knee or hand. He asked about her plans for the day while acting as if Daniel wasn't in the wagon. Even when he had dropped her off at the clinic, he had jumped out of the wagon to help her down, kissing her warmly at the clinic door before parting. 

Michaela stood watching them pull away, seated side by side on the front bench. Their faces were turned away from each other as Daniel stared over towards The Gold Nugget. How they would even work together today, perplexed Michaela. She had entered the clinic then trying to go about her day's routine as normal but she couldn't help the thoughts that weighed heavily on her mind. The morning wore on and Michaela knew that if she didn't talk to someone soon she might go crazy. Closing up the clinic, she headed down towards the gazette office.

Michaela tapped lightly on the door. Her head felt like it would explode from all the thoughts that were swirling around inside of it. The morning's events had only served to confuse her even more and she felt as if she needed an outside perspective on the situation. Dorothy opened to her, smiling widely. "Good mornin' Michaela."

"Good morning, Dorothy. Do you have a minute to talk?"

"Certainly. Come on in." She held the door open until Michaela had slipped inside. "Something on your mind?" she asked noticing the concentrated look on Michaela's face.

Michaela took a deep breath feeling slightly awkward about being here. It was hard to describe the situation which only complicated the feeling. "Sort of," she replied. Dorothy sensed her discomfort and went back to working on the press, hoping that less eye to eye contact would help Michaela open up. "It's Sully," Michaela whispered after a moment. "And Daniel," she added. Dorothy nodded encouraging Michaela to continue. "Things are very tense between them."

"How do ya mean.. tense?" Dorothy asked stopping her task for a moment.

Pushing through the awkwardness, Michaela continued "Well ... Sully and Daniel were…very quiet."

"Quiet's not unusual for Sully," Dorothy observed giving her a questioning look.

"No -- I mean extremely quiet," Michaela said as her face grew more troubled.

"I thought this whole fuss about the money was over, but obviously not for Sully. I felt such an anger brewing in him. "

"Toward you?"

"No, no, toward Daniel," Michaela corrected her. Thoughts of last night's chess game and Sully's help with the baby this morning flashed through her mind. "If anything, he was more attentive to me. Last night, he wanted to play chess."

"Chess? " Dorothy asked giving her a slightly strange look.

"He was so eager to play, and I've never known him to be interested before."

Dorothy looked over at Michaela knowingly. "Before Daniel arrived."

Michaela furrowed her brow as she tried to make sense of what Dorothy was saying. "Michaela, I think Sully's jealous."

"Jealous?" Michaela asked incredulously.

"Of you 'n Daniel," Dorothy continued a telling look in her eye.

"Oh Dorothy," Michaela said shaking her head in disbelief.

"I think Daniel's fallin' in love with you."

"Oh, don't be ridiculous," Michaela said shaking her head. This was preposterous. There was no way that Daniel thought of her like that. She was Sully's wife; Daniel was Sully's best friend.

"Well, maybe you don't see it, but Sully clearly had seen somethin'." Dorothy paused here for a moment and looked directly at Michaela. "An' I did, too." This caught Michaela's attention. She looked up perplexed by what Dorothy was going to say. "When they came to pick ya up yesterday, a simple thing like helpin' ya on with your coat -- it made Daniel so uncomfortable."

"That's nonsense," Michaela interjected.

"An' when you got into the wagon, the way he looked at Sully…Afraid to touch your hand ..."

Michaela had noticed the same thing and this made her pause for a moment to consider what Dorothy was saying. There was simply no way that Daniel felt that way about her, was there? With a small shake of her head, she dismissed the idea entirely. "No. Absolutely not. Daniel is Sully's best friend, it's not possible." Her voice was adamant and Dorothy knew that Michaela was clearly ignoring the obvious.

"Michaela, sometimes, when we're right in the middle of a situation, you can't see how it's comin' across –" Dorothy grew quiet her own relationship worries suddenly springing to the forefront of her mind as she noticed the sprig of lavender on her desk.

"You may perceive what you like, that does not make it true," Michaela continued her own voice belying her feelings.

"Yes, I suppose you're right... but maybe..." Dorothy reached out to touch the lavender. Michaela's situation was the least of her worries right now. "But maybe what folks see is true ... an' you just don't wanna accept it."

Michaela shook her head, still feeling as if the idea was ridiculous but even so it had been planted in her brain. If it was true, surely she would have noticed. Unwilling to continue the conversation any longer, she said "I have patients to see." Dorothy barely noticed her friend's departure as her own mind swirled with thoughts of Cloud Dancing and herself.

Michaela stepped out into the bright sunshine, obviously still shaken by what Dorothy had said. Closing the door behind her she thought long and hard about what Dorothy had told her yet still she found herself unwilling to believe it. "Michaela," Daniel called out approaching the gazette from the opposite direction. Michaela turned then stopped short, flustered by the sight of the approaching wagon. Her cheeks warmed incredibly as she watched Daniel slow the buckboard in front of her. She tried to smile but felt extremely awkward now.

"Daniel. I didn't expect to see you here," she said swallowing hard.

"Sully sent me into town to buy lumber." Michaela nodded, unsure of what else to say. "Michaela, there's something I need to talk to you about. Do you have a minute?"Michaela felt her muscles tense and wondered how revealing her face was at the moment.

"Certainly," she said trying to force her mind to stop racing through endless possibilities of why he wanted to see her.

Daniel took a deep breath and stepped down from the wagon, uncertain of how to proceed. Things couldn't continue on like they were – that much he knew. But how to tell Michaela – how to explain to her why he couldn't stay at their house another day was going to be difficult. Admitting his feelings was bad enough but his biggest fear was of her reaction. He didn't want her to be afraid of him or to be upset with him. "I don't really know quite where to start but ah…" His words panicked Michaela and she grew more agitated as she stood there in front of him. Michaela looked up at him too frightened of what he might say. She was still not willing to accept Dorothy's explanation but just the thought that maybe… just maybe he had feelings for her scared her silly.

"Daniel, I just remembered. I have an appointment to prepare for. Could we talk about this later? " She knew her explanation sounded hollow at best but it was all she could think of at the moment. She gave him a weak smile

Daniel could see the discomfort playing across her face and it tore at his heart. This was his doing. He was the one causing her to feel this way… causing Sully to feel the way he was. "Sure. See ya at the house then," he said uneasily .

"Yes," Michaela returned as once again they exchanged taut smiles. Daniel stood watching her go before climbing back up into the wagon. This time he was sure that she had guessed at his feelings but he wasn't sure what to make of her hasty departure. Michaela felt uneasy and couldn't help but wonder what tonight at the homestead would be like. She turned towards the clinic only to see Matthew approaching from the other direction. Quickening her pace, she met him in the middle of the street.

"Hey Dr. Mike," he greeted her, noticing the tense look on her face. "Everything alright?"

"Sure… I was wondering if maybe you would want to come for dinner tonight."

Matthew gave a shrug of his shoulders. "I got some repairs in the barn I was gonna work on tonight," he began but Michaela interrupted him.

"Could they wait? I… things are well… sort of tense between Sully and Daniel and I was hoping that maybe having another person present might ease the situation."

Matthew wrinkled his face in confusion. "What do ya mean tense?"

It was now Michaela's turn to shrug. "I don't exactly know. It's hard to explain… I suppose I was hoping that someone else at dinner might help." Her voice faded as she spoke alerting Matthew to her own state of mind.

"Ya know what - I'd love to come to dinner tonight." He gave her shoulder a brief pat as he spoke and Michaela looked up at him with a weak smile.

"Good," she said somewhat cheerfully as she caught sight of Daniel pulling up at the livery. "I better be going."

"See ya tonight," Matthew called after her as Michaela made a hasty retreat towards the clinic.

* * *

The sun was just beginning to fade as Matthew stood outside on the porch with Brian watching Sully repair the fence. Matthew turned to his little brother and noticed the same drawn look he had seen earlier on Michaela's face. "Brian is there even anything wrong with that fence Sully's fixin'?" he asked breaking the silence for the first time since they had stepped outside. 

"Nah," he replied dejectedly. A deep sigh escaped his mouth as he turned toward his brother. "He's been like this ever since he got back from the cattle drive."

"Dr. Mike said things were tense." Brian didn't speak for a moment but chewed anxiously on his bottom lip as Matthew observed him. "Is something a matter?"

Turning his eyes toward the barn, Brian remained quiet unsure how to tell Matthew what he was thinking. "I... I think this is my fault."

Matthew scowled and placed his hand on Brian's shoulder giving it a light squeeze. "How could this be your fault?"

"I wrote to Daniel because I knew ma and Sully didn't have the money for the house. I thought he could help but Sully didn't want him to."

"Brian it wasn't you who took the money. If Sully was gonna be mad at somebody, don't ya think he would be mad at Dr. Mike?"

"I guess." He cast his eyes toward the railing when he absentmindedly picked at the wood. "But if I hadn't written to Daniel, he never would've come. This whole mess wouldn't have even been started."

"Brian if you hadn't written to Daniel ya might all be livin' with me in the old homestead," Matthew reasoned as a light laugh escaped his mouth. "I know Sully didn't wanna take the money but everythin' that's happened ain't your fault. Don't go blamin' yourself." He wrapped an arm around Brian's shoulder and moved over beside him. "I'm sure Sully sees it the same way. Sides way Dr. Mike tells it, Sully ain't mad at anybody but Daniel."

Brian shook his head. "Yeah, that's true." He gave Matthew a weak smile. "He barely even talks to him."

Just then the front door of the house opened and Michaela stepped out onto the porch. She smiled at the way Matthew had his arm around Brian. He had always been such a wonderful older brother and she was certainly glad of his presence here tonight. "Boys dinner's ready," she said tentatively not wanting to interrupt their conversation.

"Thanks ma," Brian replied turning to face her. "Want me to get Sully?"

"No, I'll do it." She stepped past them and off the porch towards the fence. Sully's thoughts were obviously elsewhere, he didn't even hear her approach. "Sully," she said gently, her voice almost musical in tone.

Sully turned and forced a smile. "Dinner ready?"

Michaela nodded, wanting to reassure herself that he was planning on opening up to her tonight but knew that right now might not be the best time.

"Michaela," Daniel called from the porch. "Do ya want me to put the carrots on the table?"

"Sure," Michaela returned as Sully wrapped an arm around her shoulder. She glanced at him quizzically.

"Daniel help ya with supper?"

"A little."

"I thought the boys were helpin' ya."

"They were outside on the porch," she responded giving him a confused look. "Did you finish the fence?" she asked knowing just as the boys had that there was nothing wrong with it.

"Yeah," Sully lied as he took his arm from around her. He lightly brushed her fingers as he dropped his hand and Michaela took the opportunity to grab onto him. Again she felt him tense at her touch but she assured herself that very soon she would know why. Together they walked up to the house where dinner awaited them.

Sully took his place at the end of the table as soon as they entered. Daniel was already seated but his eyes were glued to the fire on the other side of the room so that even as Sully passed right in front of him he acted as if he didn't notice. After the family said grace, they began to pass the bowls of food around. Hardly anyone spoke as the food was passed. Michaela occasionally glanced at the other end of the table where Daniel and Sully shared hesitant glances every few minutes. How they had even worked together that day was beyond Michaela's comprehension.

Matthew glanced down at them as he chewed thoughtfully on a bite of potato. "Dinner's real good tonight, Dr. Mike," he offered

"Thank you, Matthew. I'm glad you could join us," she replied with a diminished smile. Matthew was perplexed by their behavior. It seemed worse than either Michaela or Brian had hinted at. He nodded at Michaela's statement and glanced around the table again at the anxious faces.

"Wouldn't miss it," he said with forced enthusiasm. The truth was he would prefer to be almost anywhere but here right now.

Michaela looked down at her plate as Brian and Matthew exchanged glances. Brian shrugged and gave a little shake of his head as the silence continued. His heart went out to his little brother in that minute. He could see from the tightness around his mouth that he was still worried. It was moments like these that always made Matthew question if adults really understood how their own behavior affected children. He made a silent vow to himself that he would try to remember this if he was ever a father. Still Matthew combed his mind for a topic, anything that would break the unsettling silence.

"Saw Ben Marcus in town today," he finally offered.

Michaela perked up. "Ben Marcus? How is he?"

"Oh, he's fine."

"And his family?"

"They're doin' fine too."

Michaela nodded, hoping for more. So far her plan had backfired and given the looks that the two men continued to exchange it wasn't about to get any better.

"He said to send 'is regards," Matthew added. Michaela smiled and then turned to her own plate once again.

"Mr. Bray's been talkin' 'bout makin' some big changes at the store," Brian offered trying his hand at starting a conversation.

"That right Brian? What kinda changes? " Matthew asked pretending to be very interested.

"Oh, movin' stuff aroun'," Brian replied."What kinda stuff?"

"Y'know -- stuff." Brian looked around once more before meeting Matthew's eyes and seeing the same defeat there that he felt. They both gave up and concentrated on eating as fast as they could so that they could leave the table quickly.

Finally Daniel spoke up. "Another fine meal Michaela. Would you excuse me?"

"Sure," Matthew answered when it looked as no one else was going to.

Daniel rose from the table and headed toward the stairs. Michaela met Sully's eyes and she became even more troubled at the anger she saw there. Sully hastily dropped his head and following the boys example he quickly cleaned his plate. It wasn't long before Michaela found herself in the kitchen washing up the dishes. Matthew had left already and Brian had retired for the evening. Sully had gone up to check on Katie and had never come back down. Michaela was worried that he had forgotten that they were supposed to talk and she made short work of the kitchen, feeling the urgency of making it upstairs before Sully fell asleep.

Part of her inwardly cringed as she thought about the upcoming conversation, afraid of what might be revealed. Yet her worry was too great to put this conversation off for one more minute. After turning down the lamps and checking the front door once more, she headed up the stairs her heart growing heavier with each step. Slowly she opened the door to her room to reveal a single lamp letting out a weak beam – just enough for Michaela to see that Sully was already in bed his back to the door. She let out a deep breath and lowered herself onto the bed beside him, reaching over to lightly touch his shoulder. There was no response and Michaela felt the anger growing inside of her matched only by her worry.

Crossing the room, she made as much noise as possible getting ready for bed but the only person she succeeded in waking was Katie. Yet even her brief cries elicited no reaction in Sully. After settling Katie once more, she returned to their bed but left the bedside lamp on knowing sleep was not going to take her anytime soon. Her stomach was in knots, the tension spreading out through her entire body as she stretched out along his form. For a little while, she tried reading a medical journal but gave up after she read the same paragraph five times without retaining a single thing.

Finally she turned down the light and lay down fully in the bed, hoping sleep would eventually overtake her. The sound of the floorboards creaking in the hall caught her attention. Sitting up more alert than before, she strained her ears to listen. The sound of footsteps on the stairs made the knot in her stomach tighten and she hastily rose to see who was up and about though she was fairly certain it was Daniel. Without wasting another second, she pulled on her robe and headed out the bedroom door, slipping effortlessly down the stairs in her bare feet.

"Daniel?"

Daniel tensed at her voice, a light sigh escaping his mouth. "I didn't wanna wake ya."

"What are you doing?" Michaela asked her eyes roaming from the bags to the piece of paper on the table.

"Figure it's time I move on now," he said plainly hoping to get out of the house before she made him admit why he was really leaving.

"You're leaving? "

"I think it's best."

"In the middle of the night?" Michaela asked incredulously. She knew things were bad but to leave without even saying good-bye to her that was shocking. "But you have to say goodbye to Sully. You can't go now. Please don't go."

"What's goin' on?" Sully's voice boomed from the stairs. Michaela jumped at the sound of his voice and quickly turned to face him. Sully looked from Michaela's face to Daniel's seeing the same surprise written on both of them. His eyes narrowed slightly "What're you two doin' down there?"

"I was just leavin'," Daniel explained.

"Good."

"Sully, you don't mean that," Michaela hastily interjected shocked at her husbands terse response.

"Yeah, I do." He lunged towards Daniel aggressively, his face glowering with rage. "I've seen the way ya been lookin' at her." Daniel remained quiet as Sully verbalized his thoughts.

Michaela swallowed hard. Dorothy had been right- Sully was jealous. Her hands were shaking as she turned to her husband. "Sully... " she began but he interrupted her.

"Go on. Tell her," Sully challenged Daniel his eyes never leaving Daniel's face. Daniel still remained silent, feeling it impossible now to voice the unpleasantness of his own sordid thoughts. "Ya denyin' it?"

Daniel shifted awkwardly as Michaela turned to face him once more. His heart broke as he looked at her for what he assumed was the last time. Sully pushed past him and opened the front door before turning his cold eyes back to Daniel. Again Daniel looked at Michaela, wanting to say something – anything in way of explanation. "Whatcha waitin' for?"

Daniel picked up his bags, hesitating momentarily. He wanted to say something – to make things right. "Sully, I..."

"Just go!" Sully exclaimed giving Daniel a shove.

An anguished Michaela quickly stepped between them. "Sully… he's your friend."

"Used to be." His words found their mark. Daniel swallowed hard feeling more wounded than he ever had in his life. The two of them had certainly argued in the past but never had things felt so torn as they did right now. He stepped through the door his head hung in rejection as Sully closed the door behind him.

Michaela moved to the side as he closed the door, her face still echoing the surprise and shock she felt inside. Never had she seen Sully behave so irrationally. Couldn't he see that he had been wrong? There was no possible way that Daniel had feelings for her; her husband was being ridiculous. She had to talk to him to make him understand. In one single swoop, he retrieved his belt and coat. She reached out her hand but he backed away from her. Michaela panicked at that moment, seeing the unbridled anger on his face. All she could assume was that he thought something was in fact going on between her and Daniel. Her heart beat wildly inside of her as she opened her mouth to speak. Yet Sully ignored her completely already opening the back door to leave. The sound of it closing shattered Michaela and she leaned up against the front door for support, as tears began to pour down her face. She wrapped her robe securely around her body, feeling suddenly unclean though she knew she had done nothing wrong. Just the thought that Sully would think that about her was devastating. She had to go after him- make him understand. Yet she knew she couldn't – Brian and Katie still slept upstairs. That thought made her angry again. He knew she couldn't leave – and that was unfair.

Crossing to the stairs, she made her way up wiping at her tears as she went. The despair that she felt, threatened to choke her as she moved through the quiet house. Opening the door to her bedroom, her eyes caught the sight of the deserted bed. Sully's pillow was still indented from his earlier presence and she walked over to it touching it lightly with her fingers. The tears flowed harder now and she lay down in his place, curling into a fetal position. Sobs racked her body but she couldn't seem to make herself stop. How much time had passed she didn't know but eventually she calmed some. Forcing herself off the bed, she went to the crib and pulled the baby into her arms, needing to hold onto something so that she wouldn't breakdown like that again. She sat down with her in the rocking chair, holding her close and drawing some comfort from the tiny frame as she waited for the sun to rise.

* * *

The night was dark, the moon hidden by cloud cover as he made his way deeper into the forest. He didn't need a light to guide him; he knew this route by heart. Every tree had been etched in his memory, every footstep counted. His way became slightly more difficult as the trees grew closer and closer together. The path had been left behind but the sound of the creek to his right let him know he was still moving in the right direction. His mind whirled with the same blackness that surrounded him as he pushed himself forward never once looking back. 

The trees broke suddenly and Sully stepped out into a small clearing, the babble of the creek closer than ever. This was the place where he had come on his spirit quest. This was the place where he had finally begun to heal after Abagail's death. Cloud Dancing had accompanied him here the first time, speaking over him the purpose for his vision quest. Now these words rang in his memory just as they had the first time he had heard. They penetrated his heart in the same fashion, leaving indelible marks on his soul. Sinking to his knees in exhaustion, Sully let the memory wash over him.

"_Will you run forever?" he asked, his voice haunting the recesses of the night._

"_It's easier to run," Sully replied unable to look away from the medicine man's gaze even though he longed to._

"_And does the running help?"_

_Sully shook his head. "But it's easier."_

"_What is easier isn't always what is best. You cannot run from your past because it is always with you. Do you not think that each person, each event shapes us into who we are?"_

"_Maybe I don't wanna be that person," Sully replied dropping his eyes to the ground, ashamed of all that he now felt._

"_Then who will you be? Do you not think that pain is a part of life? Do you not see that we suffer so that we will be changed into something better?" Sully had no response for him. He didn't want to think about the pain and suffering anymore; he simply wanted to escape from them. "These things are a part of you – embrace them for they have made you. You must learn to stop wrestling with the past and learn to live in harmony with it." With these words the medicine man rose, leaving Sully to contemplate his words._

For three days and nights those words had haunted Sully until on the last night, he had heeded Cloud Dancing's advice. He had accepted his past as part of himself and only then had real healing begun. His mind reeled at the thought that everything was resurfacing. Everything he had made peace with had been stirred up from the depth of his memory and was slowly eating him alive. "Embrace my past," he whispered into the night trying to figure out what that meant for him now.

Michaela's face surfaced out of the murky depths of his being and he gasped at the pain he found ripping though his body at the thought of her. The wall between them seemed thick as if a whole fortress had been erected in a few days time. Growing still, he heard the thud of his heart resounding in his ears and he held his hand to his chest as Michaela often did. They were one. Was it possible to separate that one into two again? He needed to tell her- to let her help him bear the burden that still weighed down on him more than he even guessed. And she needed him to tell her- to be honest with her no matter what the cost.

It was only now that the tears came, falling slowly at first but increasing as the dam inside of him burst open. The dull ache from his chest spread outward seeping into every pore of his body until he cried out banging on the ground with his fists. The pain was too much for him and he collapsed on his side feeling the cold earth beneath him as he struggled to make sense of what was going on. He lost track of time as he lay there wallowing in something akin to self pity and dread. The night began to fade away and with it his tears. The pain continued to tear at his insides but lying here in this place he had located its source. He had tried to make one back into two and it simply wasn't possible. As if he had been guided to this place at this moment, it became obvious to him what he needed more than anything else. Sully rose to his feet and with a voice that reverberated off the trees he cried out. "Michaela! Mi-chael-a!" As his thoughts flew outward, all the self pity that he had felt left him. Now thoughts of his actions from the night before haunted him as the extent of his actions came crashing down upon him.

His first thought was for his wife. It had only just occurred to him that his leaving made it look as if he thought she had welcomed Daniel's affections and that possibly she was even acting on them. He had just needed to get away – to come to terms with the myriad of emotions that plagued him. The thought that he had left the wrong impression cut him to the quick and his heart repented of his actions, hoping he would find forgiveness in her arms. At one time he had sat in this place in a circle of stones and healing had come to him. He was sure now; the only place to find healing this time was in her arms.

Yet Daniel had been hurt in the process too. The thought of his angry words made Sully ashamed. Fairness was a principle Sully tried to live by but last night he hadn't even given Daniel the chance to defend himself. If Michaela had not stepped in between them he would have hit his oldest friend and thought nothing of it. Whatever Daniel felt for Michaela was nothing more than feelings. Just like Michaela, he never would have acted on them. The sky was even lighter now and Sully knew what he had to do. He wanted to go first to Michaela but after that he would head straight for town to find Daniel before he left.

* * *

Michaela urged Flash on as she drew closer to town, praying that she would find Sully somewhere soon. The sense of calm that she had found holding Katie in the early hours of the morning had been replaced by a sick dread that began in her stomach and soon spread throughout her body. A light rain fell turning the path to mud and making stray wisps of hair cling to her face. Her own tears mixed with the rain that beat on her face as she dug her heels into Flash's side spurring her forward. 

Slowing only as she hit the outskirts of town, her eyes spotted Dorothy leaving the general store with a basket of groceries on her arm. Quickly she trotted over to her. "Dorothy have you seen Sully this morning? I've been looking all over for him. " Her words tumbled out quickly as the urgency in her continued to grow.

Dorothy glanced up at Michaela noticing the distress on her face and her heart instantly went out to the doctor. "No Michaela, I haven't. What's wrong?"

"Oh Dorothy ... something terrible happened last night," Michaela began. Her chest tightening uncontrollably as the words came tumbling out. Somehow speaking them out loud made everything that had occurred feel more real. "You were right. Sully believes Daniel -- has feelings for me." Her hands shook as she said it and she swallowed hard against the wave of emotion that threatened to break on her at any moment.

"Oh dear ... " Dorothy exclaimed as the thought that she had in fact been right overwhelmed her.

"He became so upset… he walked out."

"He just needs some time to cool off," Dorothy reasoned as Michaela grew more visibly upset with each word.

"But I can't find him anywhere. What must he be thinking?"

"Michaela, Sully loves you. I've never seen a man so devoted to his wife." Her words were sure and her tone confident but Michaela still looked doubtful. "He'll be home. Don't you worry," she added reaching up to touch Michaela's hand.

Michaela nodded but then turned to ride off. She wanted to believe Dorothy but no one except for her had lived with him for the past few days. No one knew his anger and the way he had brooded over whatever was troubling him. The train whistle caught her attention and she slowly approached the train station, seeing Daniel's form on the bench. His face was set away from her but as she came closer he sensed her gaze and turned. Michaela felt his apology before a word was even spoken and though glad to see him there she couldn't shake the awkwardness either. Slowly she led Flash across the tracks and dismounted to meet Daniel on the platform. Both regarded each other tentatively, unsure how to begin or even what to say.

Michaela glanced at his bags situated near the benches. "Those benches must've been very uncomfortable," she began.

"I slept at the Gold Nugget."

"You didn't happen to find Sully there?"

"He left home?" Michaela nodded in response and quickly dropped her head as tears once again pooled in her eyes. Daniel sucked in sharply, longing to take away the pain she was feeling, knowing that he was responsible. He wanted to comfort her and almost lifted his hand to do so before he remembered himself. No longer could he pretend – it was time for her to know. "Michaela -- I'm so sorry about all this. Last thing I wanna do is make trouble for you 'n Sully "Michaela looked up at him composing herself, taking his words as a sign that he wanted to help.

"Then let's go find him. Tell him what nonsense he's been thinking, how absurd that is." Her voice was urgent as she began to step away from him yet the look on Daniel's face made her pause.

"I can't do that, Michaela" Daniel said his voice wavering.

"Why not?" Michaela asked fearing the answer. For the first time she had climbed up onto the platform, Daniel looked at her, really looked at her. Michaela felt her heart speed up as her body tensed in reaction to what she read in his face.

"'Cause it ain't nonsense." She froze, her body numb with his words. "What Sully's been thinkin' -- it's true."

Michaela shook her head, disbelief still clinging to her as she tried to wish the truth away. "No ... " she whispered, her voice hoarse with emotion.

"You're the finest woman I ever met…"

"Don't - Daniel, please... " she said wishing she could shove her fingers into her ears so that his confession wouldn't be cutting her to the quick as it was. It was true – it was true. If that was the case and Sully had known, what must he think of her?

"Sully's the best friend I ever had….An' that's why I gotta go." The shock was still apparent on Michaela's face but there was also compassion in her eyes as she looked at Daniel. She knew that what he had just admitted was not easy.

"Yes you should," she whispered. Daniel nodded as Michaela extended her hand. "Goodbye, Daniel."

Daniel took her hand feeling his heart break within him. Somehow everything had been turned upside down for him in the few days he had known her. This moment was like a lifetime. If they had met in another time, in another place things might have been different. He swallowed hard, reminding himself that what could have been was not reality. He had ruined a friendship and put Michaela's marriage in a precarious position. Reaching out to her, he shook her hand, his heart freezing within his chest.

Sully approached the platform, squinting to make out his wife and best friend from this distance. He had returned to the homestead only to find it deserted and Flash gone. Not knowing the best place to go first, he had headed to town hoping to find her at the clinic but now they were both before him – both the people he needed to make amends with.

"Michaela?" he called out, feeling the strain in his voice.

Michaela turned quickly, relieved to see him. She felt like running to him and wrapping her arms around him but apprehension paralyzed her as she wondered what he might do or say seeing her with Daniel once more. Sully moved closer, his eyes fixed on Daniel now. "Wanted to catch ya 'fore ya left."

Michaela suddenly felt like an interloper and she moved back some before turning to Sully. "I'll be at home," she whispered receiving only a brief nod in return. With one last sorrowful look at Daniel, she mounted Flash and rode off towards the homestead.

For a moment, they stood their watching her, the tension growing with the silence. "You're the luckiest man in the world, Sully" Daniel said. His voice was gentle but firm and Sully knew he was right. "An' I wish nothin' but ev'ry happiness for you both. " Sully nodded now, watching as Daniel struggled to find words to try and explain himself. "I never meant for this to happen. I just couldn't help my feelin's…..I'm sorry."

"So am I," Sully replied as he felt the wall he had built between himself and Daniel fall down with these few words.

Daniel glanced over at the train, knowing he had to leave but wishing he could stay. He had felt happier here than he had in a long time. True that part of that had to do with Michaela but Sully was also part of that. He would miss his best friend. "Seems like we're always puttin' so many miles between us."

"Miles don't matter," Sully replied feeling his heart flood with warmth for the man who stood before him. Daniel felt the ice melting as well and he smiled in relief as they shared a bittersweet look. Daniel extended his hand and Sully shook it, wanting to hold on but knew it was time for his friend to go.

"Say g'bye to Matthew for me. Katie 'n Brian. I'm gonna miss 'em."

"They're gonna miss you." His voice was warm and sincere as he moved toward the train.

"I'll let ya know where I am," he promised.

"Ya better," Sully teased. "'Cause I'm payin' ya back."

Daniel smiled, happy to see that healing really had taken place. "You bet ya are. Ev'ry last cent. " He stood in the doorway of the train as it pulled out of the station, watching Sully fade into the distance.

As the train grew further and further away, Sully turned toward his horse knowing he still had one more wall to knock down.

* * *

Michaela wasn't sure how long she had been home but it felt like forever as she waited for Sully's approach. The rain had stopped now but her damp clothes clung to her body, chilling her to the bone. She did nothing about it though, determined to see Sully the minute he rode up. With each passing moment, she grew more and more despondent. Again, she turned her head surveying the landscape before her, only to be disappointed once again. She turned now to step inside feeling more disheartened than before. The brief nod at the train station had been the one ray of hope she had clung to and now that felt as if it was being ripped from her. 

At that moment was she was ready to give up, the sound of an approaching rider reached her ears and she turned quickly as her heart surged with joy. Relief flooded her body, softening the lines of her face as she stepped off the porch towards him. Hastily, Sully climbed down from the horse turning to face the women that he loved, knowing that he had so much to tell her. He could see the uncertainty in her face but still she moved towards him, her eyes never wavering from his. They stopped only a foot away from each other.

"I'm so glad that you're home," Michaela whispered, the relief obvious in her voice.

"It's the only place I wanna be," Sully assured her. He grabbed her shoulders and pulled her towards him, their lips crashing into each other in the sheer relief of the moment. Again and again they kissed, as forgiveness was sought and found in each other's arms. Feeling as if the first hurdle had been overcome, Sully relaxed and held her firmly against him. "There are so many things I want to tell ya," he whispered. "No – I need to tell ya."

Michaela pulled back and smiled fully up at him. "Let's go in the house," she suggested, glad that he was finally going to open up to her. Yet even as they climbed the steps hand in hand, it felt slightly strange to be so close. Once inside the door, he pulled her close again not wanting to let her go until he had spilled everything that was bottled up inside of him. "Why don't you start a fire and I'll make us some tea." Sully merely nodded and let go of her. Dropping his coat over the nearest chair, he moved to the fireplace to start a fire.

By the time Michaela had returned to the living room, Sully had a roaring fire going and she sat the tray down on the floor between them, curling her legs underneath her and leaning slightly towards him. He had brought his knees up to his chest and his head rested on the one closest to her. All pretenses had been dropped now – the look on his face was one of sheer vulnerability. Michaela reached over and took his hand in her own. "Tell me," she whispered the tea forgotten momentarily.

Sully met her eyes as he spoke wanting her to hear the truth of every word. "I never thought something was going on between Daniel and you… I never thought that. I know ya better than that." These words were exactly what Michaela needed to hear and she felt her body release the anger that it had been holding onto ever since this had begun. Sully began to speak again almost as if he was in a trance. He gripped Michaela's hands tightly but his eyes stared into the fire as the words began to flow. "I've failed at so many things in my life… I never wanted to fail you…" Michaela's heart went out to him but she repressed her own words for the moment knowing he needed to simply speak what was in his mind. "When my pa died he asked me to take care of my ma but I couldn't… I couldn't save her. I saw her depression growing every day but there was nothin' I could do."

"You were a little boy," Michaela interjected already feeling the depth of the pain he was sharing. His thoughts seemed almost disconnected as he spoke but Michaela quickly realized what had been going on.

Sully continued on as if he hadn't heard her speak. "My whole life always tryin' to prove myself… wasn't ever good enough… nothin' I did was ever good enough. Wasn't good enough to marry Abagail and even when I did I messed that up."

"How Sully? How did you mess that up?"

He turned now to look at her for the first time since he had begun to speak. "She needed a doctor…. and I…." his voice broke here as he struggled to keep from crying.

"You didn't know she needed a doctor. Charlotte did everything she could to save her. It wasn't your fault." She gave his hand a light squeeze wanting instead to pull him to her. It all made sense to her now… Sully had been feeling inadequate, like a failure. And she had only complicated matters by taking the money from Daniel.

His eyes drifted back to the fire. "Loren blamed me… just like that doctor did…. I couldn't even take the pain. I ran away just like I did last night. I'm sorry Michaela .. I should never have…"

"It's okay," she whispered. With one hand she slid the tray backwards and moved behind him wrapping her arms around him securely. She laid her face against his and waited for him to finish. His voice was barely more than a whisper now as he spoke. "We almost lost the house… and I couldn't do anything about it… I tried… I wanted to but in the end I failed again. Knowing that Daniel paid the money… that Daniel could give you a different life…"

Michaela heard the strangled sob in his throat and moved quickly to kneel in front of him. "Sully, I don't want a different life," she exclaimed her own eyes filling with tears. "That night that I was so upset… the night I thought we were going to lose all of this…. I only wanted you…. I only needed you. I can live without this house… I can't live without you."

Sully relaxed hearing her words and the tears began to fall. The first one tumbled down his cheek and Michaela moved to kiss where it had landed. "He could give you the world," he whispered reaching up to run his hand through her hair.

"Sully," she breathed out near his ear making his hair stand on end. "I don't want the world, only you." She pulled back to observe him.

"I'm sorry," he said his voice full of a warm sincerity. "I have never known anyone like ya. If I lost you…" again his voice quivered with emotion.

Michaela was moved by the raw emotion in his voice and she needed him in that moment more than she had ever needed him. Slowly she reached her hand up and touched his cheek with her fingertips. "Love me," she whispered wanting to feel completely at one with the man she loved.

Sully heard the intensity in her voice and he too felt drawn to her. Gone were the doubts that had plagued him for the last few days as she lovingly cupped his face in her hands and began to place soft kisses to his eyes and cheeks. He closed his eyes and simply reveled in the sensation of her warm lips against his skin, gasping in delight when she kissed him hard on the lips. Eagerly now they clung to one another, their kisses growing more and more heated as they renewed their love for one another without words.

Sully pulled back, his eyes lovingly combing her face as he brought a finger up to trace her kiss swollen lips. Michaela felt as if she couldn't still her hands and she ran them eagerly up and down his back and around to his chest. Sully pulled her close once more, their lips opening to one another as his body began to react to her proximity.

Gently Sully lowered them to the floor, cradling her head in his hands. Michaela felt his eyes roaming over her, their intensity burned indelibly upon her memory. His hand moved up to unbutton her shirt each lost in the other's eyes. The scent of rain clung to their skin filling the air with an unknown sweetness. He pushed her shirt open, his fingers already moving towards the ribbons of her camisole. As he untied each one, her chest heaved with longing urging Sully on. She lifted up slightly and in one swift motion, Sully pulled her shirt and camisole off. Michaela lowered herself back to the floor as Sully watched her. The rosy hue of her skin stirred him and he let one finger trace a path from her face downwards to her stomach. Moving so that he straddled her, he leaned down and placed a kiss in the valley between her breasts as his hands closed over her fullness on each side of his face. Michaela wrapped her arms around his head and stilled him against herself, taking in the warm sensations that were rippling through her body.

When she finally let go, Sully sat up and pulled his own shirt over his head needing to rid himself of all boundaries between them. Michaela slipped her hand underneath her waist, and quickly undid the button that held her skirt in place. She began to push at it with her hands but Sully completed the job for her and then divested himself of his own pants. She opened her body to him and he kneeled between her legs smiling down at her. Again, he reached up to run a single finger down her body but this time it didn't stop at her stomach. She shivered involuntary as he met her soft folds of flesh and continued on down her inner thigh.

Michaela brought her own hands to his shoulders and let them trace the outline of his body as well. She lingered over the cheeks of his backside pushing him down toward herself now. Sully smiled at her eagerness and wasted no time in placing one hand on either side of her head. Michaela hooked her legs around his as he began to lower himself to her. Their eyes locked as Sully joined them and the passion they found there spilled out shutting out everything but each other.

Softly she moaned against his ear, arching her head back in sheer pleasure. Sully's heart felt as if it might beat out of his chest. Here was the woman he loved heart, mind and soul joined as one with him in a way she would never be with anyone else. That stirred him deeply as he gasped "I love you," in her ear.

"Oh Sully," she cried out, her hands wandering down once again to his bottom where she encouraged his movements with a little additional pressure. Her breath came in heavy pants now, her arms clinging to him as they moved together. "There will never be anyone else for me," she whispered. "I'm yours."

That one thought drove Sully forward, his own body incredibly aroused at the thought that he possessed this amazing woman. She wanted him and him alone. They belonged to each other- to no one else. He felt her nails dig into his flesh and he pulled back so that he could see the pleasure on her face. The world was far away now. The only thing that mattered was here in front of him and he pushed on wanting her to feel his love in every possible way. "Sully," she cried out and he knew that urgency in her voice for he felt it himself. She gripped him tightly as he spilled inside of her the intensity of the moment overpowering both of them.

Without opening his eyes, his lips found hers and they kissed repeatedly. Tears flowed freely from both of them, mixing together as they shared hushed words of affirmation with one another. Never before had a lovemaking session spawned such a range of emotions but this one had while being deeply satisfying as well. He stayed joined with her for as long as possible, needing to feel that closeness. Yet eventually he moved to the side pulling her with him. Her hands continued to move sensually over his body wanting to touch every part of him.

"No more walls," Sully whispered into her hair placing a light kiss to her scalp. "I don't want anymore walls between us."

Michaela lifted her head slightly so that she could smile up at him. "No more," she agreed, reveling in the warmth they shared. "I think there may be one more wall that needs to come down," she whispered after a few moments had passed.

Sully looked at her perplexed by the statement. "One more wall?"

"Brian," she whispered then leaned in to kiss his chest. "I think he's afraid you're upset with him for writing the letter to Daniel in the first place." Sully nodded as the realization of how the events of the last few days had affected Brian began to sink in.

"Let's go together to pick him up," he suggested. "I don't want to be apart from you right now."

"Me either," Michaela agreed feeling a little like a newlywed who just discovered the joys of marital bliss.

The afternoon stretched out before them as they enjoyed every moment in each other's arms. They sat close together in front of the fire, kissing and caressing each other as if they were young people still courting. It was what they both needed though- to simply be close to one another and to be reminded of how in love they truly were. Eventually they dressed and ate a late lunch before heading off to town.

Michaela snuggled close to Sully as they rode along; stopping first at Becky's to pick up Katie. Sully hugged the baby close to himself and kissed her downy hair before handing her up to Michaela. He smiled widely at them, letting the fact that he had a family like this fill him with unspeakable joy.

By the time Brian was leaving the school house, they had parked the wagon in front. Both Michaela and Sully had climbed down to greet him. Michaela stood with Katie in her arms and Sully's hand around her shoulder. Brian smiled when he saw the look on both of his parents' faces. "Did Daniel leave?" he asked, stepping closer to his family.

"He did," Sully answered. Brian's face fell and Sully reached out to touch his shoulder. "Brian I know things have been tense for the past few days but I don't want ya to think this had anything to do with ya."

Brian nodded somewhat nervously. "I shouldn't have written that letter," he whispered apologetically.

"No – I'm glad you wrote that letter," Sully replied.

"But why?"

"Cause I got to see my oldest and closest friend. 'Cause it reminded me how very lucky I am to have a son who wants to help us in anyway he can. 'Cause it reminded me how lucky I am to have the family I got." He smiled over at Michaela and reached his hand out towards Katie. "Sometimes Brian we think that we can do things on our own. We forget how much we need each other. I have lost sight of that over the last few days."

"That's alright, Pa," Brian said stepping into Sully's embrace. Sully smiled down at him and then reached for his wife and daughter as well. Together they stood for a moment, their bodies close together forming a circle of love. This was his family and nothing could change that. No longer would the walls be built between them but around them, holding them close together to weather any storm that life might send their way.

* * *

_Hope you enjoyed this last segment! Thanks for reading and thanks to Martiza for the story suggestion!_


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